Healing
by NightingaleTear
Summary: Tony is worried about Ziva and wants to talk to her about Somalia. But will he be able to help her? Will she let him? And what are they going to do when something happens that threatens to destroy Ziva's life - again? Set after 7x02 Reunion.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Tony is worried about Ziva and wants to talk to her about what happened at Saleem's camp. But will he be able to help her? Will she let him? Set after 7x02 Reunion.

Author's Note: I love the bathroom scene in Reunion, but I think they could have done even better than that, so I decided to try and write it myself ;)

Disclaimer: NCIS and its characters are the property of CBS Television and Belisarius Productions. No copyright infringement intended.

**Healing**

Tony waited for the elevator doors to open and allow him to enter the squad room with a big smile on his face. Finally, after a truly horrible summer everything was back to the way it should be. No more rogue Israeli operatives running around in D.C. (and Ziva's apartment), Ziva was alive and well (at least under the circumstances) and she was about to become an official NCIS Special Agent which made it pretty unlikely that she would ever have to go back to Israel against her will, especially since she would also change her citizenship if she passed all the necessary tests and no one really doubted that.

Yap, everything was back to the way it should be and turning into something even better.

The elevator doors opened now and Tony walked towards his desk, the smile on his face broadening when the first thing he saw was Ziva. She was busy sorting through some files in the cabinet next to Tony's desk and had her back to him.

With a grin, Tony walked up behind her as silently as he could and then brought his mouth close to her ear and said, "Good morning, sunshine."

The whole thing had played out better in his imagination than it did in reality. Ziva winced, drove her elbow into his guts, grabbed him by the arm and flung him over her shoulder so that he ended up lying on the ground with his back.

Tony choked and tried to blink the tears away that the sudden pain had caused. "No sunshine today, huh?" he managed while panting for air.

"Tony! What did you do that for?" Ziva asked, having the decency to look a little horror-struck and offering him a hand to help him get up again. "It is unwise to startle me at the moment."

"Yeah, duly noted," Tony assured her, straightening his jacket and tie.

Ziva looked at him with a mixture of indignation and guilt. "I am sorry," she said, but then simply added, "I have to get these files down to Ducky."

With that she left Tony to stare after her.

"Something wrong, DiNozzo?" another voice suddenly spoke up behind him and it was his turn to get startled. Only that he didn't turn into crazy karate-kid because of that, which was good because Gibbs certainly wouldn't have taken very kindly to that.

"Uh, no, morning, Boss," Tony replied now and finally sat down behind his desk, but the incident didn't leave him alone. Ziva had always been a cat with claws or he wouldn't have nicknamed her his little ninja, but attacking people like that who simply sneaked up behind her… that was extreme even for her.

"Boss, did you talk with Ziva about what happened at Saleem's camp?" he therefore asked now.

Gibbs barely looked up from his work. "You were there, DiNozzo. You know what happened."

"No, I mean before we showed up. The four months he held her there," Tony explained.

"No," Gibbs said succinctly.

Tony frowned. "Don't you think someone should? Because she's obviously still struggling to deal with it – and failing."

Now Gibbs looked at him. "So what, DiNozzo? You wanna _make_ her talk?"

"Well," Tony knew that was probably a ludicrous idea, but still… "you know how it works with stuff like that. You shouldn't bury it or it will haunt you forever."

Gibbs' gaze softened because he was probably reminded of all the stuff that was still haunting him to this very day. "If Ziva wants to talk, we will talk," he said and rose from his chair.

"But…" Tony started to protest.

Gibbs walked towards his desk and dropped a few files on his keyboard. "When the time is right, Tony," he repeated and then turned to leave again. "I'm down with Abby. Try not to get yourself killed until I get back."

"Yah, very funny," Tony muttered and tried massaging his neck until Ziva returned and settled down at her desk opposite of him. He looked at her and no matter what Gibbs said, he couldn't help feeling that she would need someone to persuade her to talk and open up. This was Ziva they were talking about, after all. She was never exactly chatty and when it involved something personal even less so than usual.

"So, how are you?" he asked her eventually.

Ziva merely glanced at him. "I am fine, Tony."

"You sure? Because you seemed a little… on edge just now," he phrased it carefully.

"I said I was sorry."

"Hey, don't worry about it." Tony's shoulder still hurt like hell but that was nothing compared to the torture Ziva probably had been forced to endure, so he tried to ignore it. "I'm just saying if you want to talk…"

"Talk about what?" Ziva asked, that very same edge creeping back into her voice.

But Tony knew her too well to get intimidated so easily. "About what happened at Saleem's camp."

Ziva's already dark eyes seemed to turn black. "You already know what happened," she said, sounding like Gibbs.

"Nah, I'm not talking about rescuing you. I'm talking about the four months before that," Tony explained and dared to rise and walk over to her desk. He knew this wouldn't work without a little pressure. "I mean what did you and Saleem do all those weeks? Having tea-parties?"

Ziva was on her feet so fast the movement blurred before his eyes and she leaned over her desk towards him. "You think this is funny, Tony?" she hissed. "Something to make your stupid little jokes about?"

"No," Tony replied, not backing away from her, "as you just pointed out yourself, I was there. I know how much not fun that was. I just want to hear your side of the story."

Ziva took a deep breath and a step back again. "It is none of your business, Tony."

He shook his head with a forced smile. "Wrong again, Zee-vah. I made it my business when I got you out of there alive."

She looked at him with an indefinable expression on her face but before she could say anything, the elevator doors pinged and McGee came walking towards them.

"Morning, guys," he called while heading for his desk.

"It is not your business," Ziva repeated before sitting down again and effectively ending the conversation for now.

Tony gritted his teeth, but he wasn't done just yet.


	2. Chapter 2

He entered the Navy lodge Ziva was staying at because her apartment had been destroyed and she hadn't found a new one yet and searched for the right room number. It wasn't that Tony wanted to harass her or something or cause her pain, of course not, but he knew Ziva. She would never talk about it if no one made her. But burying it deep inside her wasn't good either.

Well, he was one to talk. He hadn't actually shared his feelings about the whole Jeanne disaster with anyone either. But it wasn't comparable. Hurting over a lost love was totally different than being tortured for months and losing faith in everything you once believed in. At least, Tony assumed that was what had happened and how Ziva had felt. It was hard to tell as long as she wasn't talking.

Perhaps he wasn't the ideal person to try and talk to her with his involvement in Rivkin's death and all, but he couldn't wait for Gibbs to do it and he really wanted to do it himself. He didn't want Ziva to be hurting and he wanted her to trust him again. After their conversation in the men's room Tony had gotten the impression that they were both willing to leave that whole Rivkin dilemma behind them.

Therefore, Tony knocked on her door now and waited for Ziva to open up. "Tony, what are you doing here?" she asked as soon as she did, not exactly sounding thrilled to see him.

"Serving dinner," Tony still replied and held up the Chinese take-outs he had brought along.

"I already ate," Ziva said though.

Tony shrugged. "Alright then, more for me." And he hurried to squeeze himself past her and into the room. He heard Ziva sigh and close the door behind him. "Nice room," he commented while placing the food on the table.

"It is sufficient until I find a new apartment," Ziva agreed in her nonchalant manner.

"Yeah, give me a call when you finally move," Tony said while searching for the box with the Chop Suey.

Ziva walked towards him. "Why? You want to carry the sofa up the stairs for me?" Her scepticism was clearly audible in her voice.

"No, obviously that's more the part for Gibbs and McGee to take care of. I was thinking more about… helping you decorate and arrange your DVD collection."

They looked at each other and shared an amused smile. But it didn't last long.

"Why did you come here, Tony?" Ziva asked, sounding serious again.

Tony shrugged. "Like I said. To eat and talk."

Ziva's eyes narrowed. "Talk about what?"

"Oh, the usual, weather, work, weeks worth of imprisonment at Saleem's camp…"

"How often do I have to tell you that it is none of your business, Tony?" Ziva snapped immediately. "Tell me now so that we can get over it already!"

"Sure, I could do that or you could simply tell me what happened," Tony insisted.

"Why? Why do you want to know?"

Tony shook his head. "It's not about me wanting to know, Ziva. It's about you being given the chance to talk about it."

Ziva rolled her eyes at him. "But I do not want to talk about it, Tony!"

"No, you prefer to beat everyone up because you don't know what else to do with all that pent-up anger. It will eat you from the inside out. That's what's going to happen!"

Ziva gave a humourless laugh. "Oh, since when do you have a degree in psychological profiling, Tony?"

"You don't have to be Ducky to realize what's going on with you, Ziva," he told her.

"Fine, then tell me this," Ziva hissed, stepping closer to him. "Why should I tell _you_ of all people?"

Tony hadn't intended for this to get so out of hand, but he, too, bristled with anger now. "Why? Here's a newsflash for you, Ziva. I was the one responsible for us coming to rescue you!"

"But no one asked you to do that!" Ziva shot back, her eyes ablaze now.

"Yeah?" Tony shook his head. "Then I should have just let you die there?"

"Perhaps."

That made him pause. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, his voice already a lot calmer.

"You do not understand."

Tony banged his fist on the table. "Then make me understand, dammit!"

"When I went to kill Saleem, I knew it was a suicide mission, okay? I knew the best case scenario would include me being able to kill him before his men would terminate me."

"Then why didn't you tell Daddy to go to hell or do it himself?" Tony asked in disbelief.

Ziva shook her head. "That's not how it works, Tony. I was given a direct order – to kill Saleem at all costs – and I was trained to follow them."

"That's crap!"

"No, it is what it is. Don't you get it? I am a killer, Tony. Raised and trained to kill without hesitation, without compassion, without remorse. I had nothing to lose and I figured it was as good a way to end it like any other."

Tony stared at her and slowly shook his head. "See, it's good that I'm here because you don't even realize how much control your father had over you, what he did to you. You went to get yourself killed without even thinking about… anyone else."

Ziva seemed to calm down now as well and instead of anger there was only emptiness in her expression which was almost worse. "Like whom?" she asked.

"Well…" Tony hesitated. "There's Abby."

"Abby?"

"Yes, she was devastated when we had to assume you were dead," Tony remembered. "And Ducky, of course, feeling helpless because there was nothing he could do to ease her sadness. McGee, missing the one person he could complain to about my childishness, and Gibbs… well… being Gibbs, always suffering in silence like a true hero."

Ziva was silent for a few seconds, trying to handle these descriptions of how lost the team had been without her. "I did regret never being able to see them again. But I thought they would get over me eventually, especially considering the circumstances of how I left."

"No, that didn't matter anymore," Tony immediately replied. "They wouldn't have gotten over you. They would have been forced to miss you for the rest of their lives. Of course, they only realized that when they thought they had lost you forever."

They looked at each other and Ziva finally replaced 'they' with what he was actually talking about. "Well, you shouldn't feel like that because you finally have to understand something. I am a killer, Tony. I was not trained to _feel _anything."

"And you finally have to understand that's crap," Tony didn't hesitate to respond. "You've never been only a killer. And even if you had, what happened in Somalia changed you. I can't even begin to imagine what you must have gone through those four months at Saleem's camp and I just don't want you to bury it along with your other feelings."

"Why?" Ziva merely asked.

"Because it's like you said. I've always had your back, Ziva, and always will… Oh, and of course, because I realized I can't live without you when I thought you were dead," Tony added in a hurry before he would lose his nerve to do it. "When I thought you were gone, everything else lost its meaning, too. I know you had reasons to question my motives, but I know now that everything I did, I did because you are the single most important person in my life right now."

Ziva looked at him for a long time without giving away anything. "I don't know whether I am ready for this now, Tony," she finally said. "Whether you believe it or not, I have been trained to suppress personal feelings and to follow orders above anything else. I have not been more than a killing machine – without heart and without soul.

But you are also right. Somalia changed things. I learned certain truths about my father, myself and the life he had made me live. And I went there to die. And though I am still alive because you and Gibbs saved me, there is a part of me that is dead and the rest of me will need a lot of healing to live on and perhaps to come to terms with what it is that I am feeling for you."

"I understand," Tony said softly and dared to take her hands into his. "And all I'm asking is for you to let me help you with that. I know you said you couldn't afford to trust me after Ari and Rivkin, but I was hoping we could work on that."

Ziva shook her head. "There is no need. I was wrong not to trust you. You were always there for me, Tony. You were always on my side. I simply failed to realize that until I had those four months to think about everything, to realize who really had betrayed me and who I wished I could see again before I died."

"I hope I was among the latter," Tony couldn't help joking a little.

Ziva smiled softly. "Of course, you were."

"Well, seems we both learned something over the course of this summer then," he said and looked at the beautiful Israeli who was both incredibly strong and secretly vulnerable at the same time. "Where does that leave us now?"

"Right here," Ziva said, gently caressing his cheek. "Together and willing to work out our feelings for each other."

Usually, Tony would have long since made a move and simply kissed her. But he had never before been in a situation like this and Ziva was not like any other woman, though at this very moment Tony wasn't concerned that she would hurt him, but the other way around because he had never seen her as vulnerable as this.

"So, how exactly do we do that?" he therefore asked carefully.

Ziva looked at him and then took his face in her hands to place a gentle but incredibly sweet kiss on his lips. "Give me some time," she whispered.

Tony smiled and caressed a strand of dark hair out of her beautiful face. "For you I would wait until I grow old and die," he said and gently pulled her towards the sofa.

There they sat down and Tony put an arm around her while Ziva rested her head on his shoulder. He would give her the time she needed. Usually, if he had told a woman something like 'I'd do anything for you', it had been a bunch of crap. But not this time. Everything was different with Ziva. Sure, he wanted to be with her, but first he wanted her to heal.

Tony knew they weren't even halfway there, but he was glad that Ziva had allowed him to come this close.

_One step at a time_, Tony thought and placed a kiss on Ziva's forehead.


	3. Chapter 3

_Her throat was dry and her lips __were swollen. Her tongue seemed glued to the roof of her mouth and the need for just a tiny drop of water burned within her like fire. But she knew she wouldn't get any. Or perhaps, she would. They wouldn't want her to die just yet. They wanted her to live a little while longer so that they could cause her more pain._

_She would never tell them anything. No matter what they did to her. She had been trained to endure it all, to embrace death if necessary, but never to give them the information they wanted. They knew that. Saleem knew that. _

_He did not torture her because he was actually hoping that she would give him valuable Intel on secret Mossad operations. If he had been interested in that, he surely would have used more sophisticated ways to get to the information. No, he did this because he enjoyed causing her pain. It thrilled him to have control over her and he had all the time in the world to wait for the day he would finally break her._

_She was determined never to grant him that triumph. She would hold back the tears. She wouldn't scream. She would find a way to die first. But it wasn't easy to keep up the strength. Her right eye was so swollen she could barely see and she was lying on the cold, dirty floor because she could barely feel her legs. She couldn't sit up. They simply would not obey her._

_Since her ear was lying on the ground, she heard the footsteps first. Her body stiffened. Then there was the jingling of the keys and when the door was opened, the mere memory of the pain threatened to overwhelm her. But she didn't move. She didn't look up. _

"_No use to pretend you're dead, woman," he said._

_When she didn't react to that either, he kicked her and pulled her around to him. As soon as his face came into view, she spit at him. He cursed in Arabic and reached for something behind his back. Next, the sickening smell of burned flesh made her nostrils flare in disgust and confusion. Then the pain hit her…_

… and Ziva screamed.

"Ziva! Ziva!"

Her first instinct was to keep screaming and to fight off the hands that were trying to get a hold on her. But then she realized that there was no pain anymore or only a faint residue of it and she recognized the familiarity of the voice that kept calling her name.

Tony. Tony wouldn't hurt her. If he was with her, she had to be safe. She was no longer imprisoned at Saleem's camp; he would no longer hurt her. Gibbs had killed him. Slowly, all the memories came back to her and Ziva stopped fighting.

"Tony?" she whispered and opened her eyes, hoping that it was true – that the memory of Saleem's torture had been nothing but a dream and that Tony's voice was indeed the reality.

To her relief, Tony's concerned face was looking right at her. She was lying on the couch and he was kneeling at her side. "Yes, I'm here. It's okay now. You were only dreaming… or something."

For a moment, the relief of waking up, of knowing that it was over and that she had survived, overwhelmed Ziva and she flung her arms around Tony's neck and held on to him as tightly as she could.

He didn't resist. Instead, he gently rubbed her back with his hands and kept saying, "It's okay. You're alright. I'm here…"

Finally, the aftereffects of the nightmare subsided and Ziva pulled back again. Feeling as if she was only now truly waking up, she frowned. "Why are you still here, Tony?"

"Well, you had fallen asleep, so I decided to get you a blanket and just sit here for a little while longer and apparently, that was a good idea, which is no surprise, of course, since I'm always full of good ideas." Tony gave her his trademark DiNozzo smile.

But Ziva shook her head. "There was no need for you to stay."

"Yeah, then why did you turn all sleep ninja crazy on me just now?" Tony asked.

Since she couldn't deny what he had seen and heard with his very own eyes and ears, Ziva said nothing and sat up. The blanket, Tony had covered her with, slid off the couch. She had to admit it was cute how he took care of her, but that didn't make her any more eager to accept his offer to talk about it.

"Did you have these nightmares ever since you came back?" Tony asked now, and there was no more hint of joking in his voice.

Ziva nodded since she saw no point in lying.

"Do you want to tell me about them?" Tony asked next, as she had known he would.

Ziva turned to look at him. "No, I want you to go. You need sleep, Tony, because we have work to do tomorrow and you will be of even less help to us than usually if you keep falling asleep at your desk."

Tony ignored that last comment and merely asked, "Will _you_ get any more sleep if I leave?"

Ziva opened her mouth, fully determined to say yes, but she simply couldn't get the word out when she saw in Tony's eyes that he knew the truth. She sighed and looked away again.

"Alright then," Tony said and got up. But he didn't head for the door. Instead, he turned on the lights and went to fetch the Chinese take-outs out of the fridge.

"What are you doing, Tony?" Ziva asked.

"Giving you another lesson on how to become an American," Tony replied while sitting down next to her and putting the food down in front of them. "Eating cold, left-over Chinese food in the middle of the night if you can't sleep is a total classic."

Ziva frowned. "No, actually, I think it is disgusting."

"See, that's why it's so good," Tony insisted and shoved one of the small, white boxes into her hand.

Ziva sniffed at it, but since it was her favorite, she decided to give it the benefit of the doubt.

Tony smiled. "There you go. Now, while we eat, we could talk. But don't worry," he added hastily when he saw the look on her face, "I said I'd give you the time you need and I will. There's loads of other stuff to talk about. You were gone for several months, after all. You wouldn't believe all the crazy chicks who showed up for the job interviews!"

"Job interviews?" Ziva asked.

"Yes, Gibbs put me in charge of finding a… replacement for you."

"Really? Did you find one?"

"Come on, we all knew that you couldn't be replaced." Tony smiled at her. "Besides, Gibbs kind of wanted McGeek and me to decide together and Mc-I-have-graduated-from-MIT had different expectations than I did."

Ziva actually smiled a little herself. "I can imagine."

"Anyway, there was this one woman who had been with the FBI and you know how much I love our friends from the Hoover building…" Tony continued talking and Ziva leaned back and listened to his stories, allowing herself to forget about everything else for the time being.

At some point, however, they had actually eaten their way through the left-over Chinese food and Tony had run out of stories – at least concerning the job interviews. They both knew he could talk for hours if someone was willing to listen. But Ziva knew they couldn't just sit here all night. If they had to work late again tomorrow, they would be too tired to concentrate and that would get them into trouble with Gibbs.

"You should go home now," she said.

"Yeah, but it's already pretty late or perhaps early is more like it. By the time I'd get to my car and back home, I could just as well stay up. So, you mind if I crash here?"

Ziva probably shouldn't have been surprised by this request. She knew Tony wasn't actually feeling too tired to drive. He simply did not want to leave her, and to her surprise, Ziva found that she did not want him to leave either.

"No, of course not. You can stay if you want," she told him, but then felt unsure what to do, which was unusual for her. But since her whole life had been turned upside down during the last couple of months, it wasn't very surprising that it had changed her as well.

Finally, Ziva decided to go to the bathroom to change into her nightdress. When she realized how short it was, barely covering half of her upper thighs, she put on her bathrobe as well before leaving the room. Meanwhile, Tony had thrown away the food, gotten rid of his jacket, tie and shoes and sat on her couch in his shirt and boxers, smiling up at her.

"If you swear to keep your hands to yourself, Tony, I might consider sharing the bed with you," Ziva heard herself saying before she could think twice about it.

Tony's smile broadened. "Don't worry, Zee-vah. I'll be a true gentleman, though it's not like we've never shared a bed before."

Ziva couldn't help smiling a little. "Right, so you know that I always sleep with my weapon close by," she said before heading towards the bedroom.

Tony followed her, but Ziva avoided looking at him while she shed her bathrobe and slid under the covers. Tony lay down on the other side of the bed on top of the covers, sticking to his promise of behaving like a gentleman. When Ziva closed her eyes, the memories of her latest nightmare were back immediately. With a sigh she opened her eyes again and stared into the darkness.

But then Tony suddenly whispered, "Don't worry, Ziva. No one will ever hurt you like that again."

He said it like a promise and all of a sudden Ziva was very glad she had offered Tony to stay and sleep next to her. Feeling the heat radiating from his body and hearing his steady breathing, Ziva closed her eyes again and slowly drifted off to sleep.

She was already snoring peacefully when Tony whispered, "Sweet dreams, my little ninja."


	4. Chapter 4

Tony was muttering impatiently under his breath, urging the elevator to go faster. It wasn't that he was suddenly overeager to get to work, but he had to know whether _she_ was there. When he had woken up this morning, he had found himself alone in the apartment Ziva was using for the time-being.

At first, Tony had assumed that she had woken up early and, ignoring her lack of sleep, had decided to get up and go for her morning run. But eventually, Tony had discovered that her working gear was gone as well and after waiting for about an hour, he had realized that she wouldn't come back. So he had hurried to drive home, take a quick shower, grab his own gear and then rush to the Navy Yard as well.

Tony wasn't sure what he had expected – certainly no cozy breakfast in bed or something similarly stupid. But it would have been nice if they had gotten up together. He could have given Ziva another lesson in American Way of Life 101 – eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast – and they could have left for work together. Perhaps this was a little silly as well, but Tony definitely hadn't expected Ziva to simply disappear like that – out of her own apartment.

Finally, the elevator doors opened and Tony was immediately relieved to see Ziva and McGoo sitting at their respective desks. Everything seemed perfectly normal and offered absolutely no explanation for Ziva's behavior. But for now, Tony decided to be glad that nothing had happened to her. He would figure out the rest later.

Tony shouldered his backpack and walked towards his desk. "Morning," he said, trying to sound normal.

"Not now, Tony. I'm right in the middle of something here," McGee replied, not even bothering to look up from his monitor.

Tony dropped his backpack. "Yeah? I bet it's nothing work related, Elf Lord. You realize that as Senior Field Agent I will have to report that."

McGee's eyes were still glued to his computer screen. "I highly doubt that because you'd have to report yourself first "

"He's right, Tony. Your computer is full of junk," Ziva added, smirking.

Tony walked towards her desk. "You seem to be in a good mood today. Had a good night's sleep?" he asked, looking her directly in the eyes.

Ziva shrugged. "It was okay," she said before focusing on her computer as well.

"Really? So what did you do this morning?"

"Same as usual."

Okay, so she didn't want to talk about it. Or perhaps, she just didn't want Probielicious to hear – even though, technically, she was the Probie now, but anyway… "Alright then, you want to go grab some coffee?"

"I'm fine, thank you," was Ziva's frustratingly curt reply.

But before Tony could come up with something else, Gibbs came rushing in with his usual command, "Grab your gear!"

"Where are we going, Boss?" Tony asked though he lacked some of his usual enthusiasm.

"Norfolk. Dead sailor," was all the information he got while Gibbs walked past him towards the elevator. Ziva followed immediately behind him.

Since she certainly wouldn't talk to him with Gibbs breathing down their necks, Tony sighed until he heard McGee who was cursing silently. A grin spread across Tony's face. "Come on, McRomeo, selling your virginity to the highest bidder will have to wait for a few more hours. But I can borrow you the twenty dollars if you need them right now."

"What? I wasn't…" McGee started to protest, but Gibbs cut across him.

"Are you two planning on moving your asses over here any time soon?"

"Of course, on your six, Boss!" Tony called and hurried towards the elevator with a flustered McGee right behind him.

They rode down into the garage and then drove out to Norfolk where they found the dead body of the young sailor in a dirty alley.

"Fingerprints identify him as Petty Officer First Class Reginald Keaton," McGee reported after using his little scanning device.

"His wallet, watch and a ring are missing. They even took his shoes," Ziva added after a short inspection of the body.

"Classic wrong time, wrong place scenario," Tony decided. "Our young Petty Officer here was on leave, got drunk and ended up in the wrong part of the city at the wrong time and ran into the wrong crowd."

Gibbs threw him one of his signature looks. "Yeah? If it's that easy, DiNozzo, why don't you just tell us who the killer is and we can all go home for today?"

"Err, working on it, Boss," Tony replied and while Gibbs went to talk to the woman who had found the Petty Officer and McGee bagged the probable murder weapon, he stepped closer to Ziva who was busy taking pictures of the body.

"So, seriously, how are you today?" Tony asked her, lowering his voice.

Ziva didn't even lower the camera. "I told you. I am fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Why wouldn't I be?" Ziva asked, sounding irritated.

"Well, I don't know. You didn't seem so great last night," Tony reminded her.

Now, Ziva did lower the camera, but when she looked at him, it wasn't exactly friendly. "Perhaps that was because you insisted on bothering me."

Tony couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Oh, I was bothering you?"

"Yes, and you keep doing it. Now, would you step out of the way so that I can continue documenting the crime scene?"

"Alright, but if you perhaps want to talk later…" he couldn't help offering.

"Tony!"

"Fine!" He shook his head and stepped away from her to give her space and make room for Ducky and the autopsy gremlin.

But all the while he didn't stop looking at Ziva. Why was she behaving like this? Why was she pushing him away again after they had gotten so close last night? And when would she finally stop playing this game?

Back at the Navy Yard later that day, Tony wasn't any more successful in concentrating on the case or solving the mystery of Ziva's contradictory behavior. But before Gibbs could get angry with him and slap him, the phone rang.

"Yah, be right down, Abs," he answered it and rose to his feet.

"Agent Gibbs, could I have a word with you in my office, please?" Director Vance's voice, coming from the stairs, stopped him, however, before he could head down to Abby's lab.

Gibbs reluctantly nodded towards the Director. "Go down and see what Abby's found," he told them before going upstairs with Vance.

Tony, Ziva and McGee all got up to follow Gibbs' order so that Tony didn't have a chance to try and talk to Ziva while they were in the elevator.

"Hey, Abs," he greeted the happy Goth when they entered her lab.

"Where's Gibbs?" Abby asked immediately.

"Up with the Director," Tony replied, trying not to take it personally. They all knew that Abby had a premium membership in the Leroy Jethro Gibbs fan club. "So what do you have for us?"

"Well, I pulled some fingerprints from the bloody pipe you found, but no hits so far. I also might have found some blood on it that's not the Petty Officer's, but I'm still waiting for the test results. And Major Mass-Spec is currently analyzing some sticky substances I found on his clothes," Abby told them.

"So, basically, you made us come down here for nothing?" Ziva asked irritably.

"Well, I don't see a Caf-Pow in your hands either," Abby shot back. "But never mind, and you should know me better than that. I would never ask you to come down here for nothing. I really need help from you guys. My birthday is coming up and I want to do something really special this year. I thought maybe paintball or body painting…"

"Abby! There's a dead sailor in autopsy, who was beaten to death with a water pipe! We have no time to listen to your stupid birthday plans!" Ziva interrupted her suddenly.

Everybody stared at her, but before they could say something, Ziva turned around and left the laboratory.

"Huh, never mind her. She's a bit cranky today," Tony told Abby before hurrying to follow the ex-Mossad officer.

"Hey!" he called when he spotted Ziva disappearing into the elevator, but he managed to squeeze himself in as well before the doors closed. "Thanks for holding the doors," he said sarcastically.

But he could see that Ziva was not in the mood for joking. "So, are you really sure you don't want to talk?" he asked instead. "Screaming at Abby is a clear sign that you either have a death wish or are seriously not fine."

Ziva sighed. "She is just so… it's like everything in her world consists of rainbows and pony rides."

"What's wrong with that? Apart from the fact that ponies smell and bite small, innocent boys. Yah, that traumatized me for weeks." He just couldn't help it. Trying to make people laugh was his way of dealing with serious conversations.

But Ziva ignored it, anyway. "It is not… wrong, and I certainly don't want Abby to get to know my world instead."

"What's in your world?" Tony asked, sensing they might actually be getting close to the real issue.

"Lies, hatred, distrust…" Ziva trailed off, but Tony got the impression that she hadn't even mentioned the worst part.

Still, he said, "That's not all there is, Ziva."

For a moment, she looked at him in a way that made Tony hope they would finally continue the more or less open conversation from last night.

But then, Ziva shook her head. "It does not matter. I will apologize to Abby later." The elevator doors opened again and Ziva turned to leave.

But Tony caught her by the arm and this time at least he didn't end up on the floor. "Ziva, wait! It does matter. You have to…"

"No, Tony," Ziva interrupted him, however. "You do not want me to talk about it because _your_ world consists of rainbows and pony rides, too."

Having said that, Ziva walked towards their desks and since Gibbs was already awaiting them, Tony was again forced to leave it at that.

For the rest of the day Gibbs kept them busy and when Tony returned to the squad room after interrogating a few witnesses (and possible suspects), he saw that Ziva was about to leave. Gibbs had probably told her to call it a day. Tony didn't have much hope that Ziva had changed her mind during the day, but sometimes facing a long, lonely night ahead did indeed change things. In any case, Tony decided to give it another try.

"Hey, want me to come over again later tonight?" he asked silently, willing her to understand that they didn't have to talk, that he could just keep her company like last night.

"No, I don't," Ziva replied, however, not entirely unexpected.

"Well, if you change your mind, I took the liberty of putting my number on speed dial for you," Tony said with a cocky smile.

Ziva glanced at her cell phone and shook her head. "Good night, Tony."

And she was gone.

A little later, Tony went home as well and feeling frustrated about the way things had turned out today, he decided to watch his favorite James Bond movie again. Sean Connery never seemed to have problems with women. Well, he had never met Ziva. Trying not to think about her, Tony watched several movies in a row (or perhaps, waiting for Ziva to change her mind and call) before finally going to bed.

He dreamed some weird stuff about Sean Connery asking Ziva out on a date that turned into a serious gunfight until a piercing noise woke him up. Still haunted by the disturbing images of his dream, Tony needed a few seconds to realize that his phone was ringing. His first instinct was to bury his face deeper in his pillow. If there was another dead sailor, surely he could wait until tomorrow. After all, it wasn't as if he could go anywhere.

But eventually, Tony's sense of duty (yes, it was there somewhere) made him answer the phone. "Anthony DiNozzo, who will be seriously pissed if this is not important."

There was a short pause on the other end. "Tony, it's me."

Immediately, Tony was wide awake and sat up. "Ziva? Jeez, what time is it?"

"I do not know."

There was something in her voice that Tony didn't like at all. "Alright, never mind. What's up?"

Another pause followed. "I need your help, Tony," Ziva finally said and there was definitely pain (perhaps even fear?) in her voice.

"I'll be there in a sec!" Tony almost shouted into the phone while he jumped out of bed. "You are at the Navy Lodge, right?"

"No, I'm near the southern exit of Rock Creek Park."

That caused Tony to pause in his attempt to pull on some pants with just one hand. "What the hell are you doing in Rock Creek Park in the middle of the night?"

"… I just killed two men."


	5. Chapter 5

When Tony had arrived at Rock Creek Park after committing every possible traffic violation imaginable (not that anyone cared about that at 3 a.m. in the morning) and had finally found his way towards Ziva, he was slightly out of breath.

"You okay?" he still managed to get out while his eyes immediately searched for signs that Ziva had been injured. But to his enormous relief, the blood on her hands and clothes didn't seem to be her own.

"I told you that I've just killed two men and you ask me whether _I_ am fine?" she asked, frowning.

"Well, I don't care about some dead guys. I care about you, Ziva." Still, now that he was sure that Ziva hadn't been hurt (at least not physically), Tony didn't have a choice but to take a look at the mess around him.

The two men lying on the ground were most definitely dead. Ziva's knife was lying in the grass next to them, stained with blood, and Tony was pretty sure that the coroner would find that both men had been stabbed with it – right in the heart. From what Tony could see beneath the blood, though, both men had pretty shabby appearances and smelled like a mixture of alcohol, urine and sweat. Surely, no one would miss these guys, which, however, made this entire mess all the more unnecessary.

"So much for hoping you were joking," Tony sighed. Ziva merely threw him an incredulous look and he shrugged. "Alright, so what happened?"

Ziva looked reluctant to talk about it, but she had been the one to call him and ask for his help, so at the very least she owed him an explanation. "I could not sleep so I decided to go for a run instead," she finally began to explain.

"Oh, right, because to go running in the middle of the night is a totally natural thing to do when you can't sleep," Tony, however, couldn't help but interrupt.

Ziva glared at him. "Do you want to hear what happened or did you come here to judge?"

"Well, I'm sorry, but I don't understand why you didn't just…" Tony broke off before he could finish his sentence. The truth was, he couldn't believe that Ziva had decided to do something that stupid instead of taking him up on his (repeated) offer to call him for help. Well, eventually, she had, but only when it was too late.

Still, he realized that there was no use in complaining about it now and that he wasn't much of a help to Ziva this way. So Tony swallowed his pride and asked, "Okay, so what happened between your decision to go running and… this?"

"I was running through the park and no one was bothering me until I met them. They were drunk and forced me to stop. They thought they could have some fun with me…" Ziva trailed off, but Tony didn't need her to continue. He could imagine the rest and it made him wish that the two guys were still alive so that he could kill them all over again. Of course, it was stupid because their dead bodies proved that Ziva could take care of herself, but still, the mere thought that someone had tried to rape her after everything that had happened in Somalia…

"Okay, so where do we dump them?" He suddenly heard himself asking.

"Tony!" Ziva stared at him in disbelief.

"What? They're scum, Ziva! They tried to rape you, so by killing them, you probably did the world a huge favor."

Ziva shook her head. "I did not call you so that you could cover this up for me."

"Then why did you call me?" Tony asked.

Ziva didn't seem to know what to say. "Because you told me to," she finally replied.

Tony sighed. "Alright, let's… call Gibbs." He didn't really know how Gibbs would be able to clean up this mess without getting Ziva into trouble, but he was Gibbs – he always pulled it off somehow.

But Ziva shook her head. "They are not dead sailors, Tony."

"Fine, then what do you want from me, Ziva?" Tony suddenly snapped. "Did you call me so that I could be the one to make the call that might get you locked up?"

"No. I guess I just wanted you to… be here with me." Ziva looked so lost and vulnerable that Tony was immediately angry with himself for losing it like that. He was here to help Ziva. He had to pull himself together.

"Okay, it's going to be fine. We'll call Metro Police. It was self defense and that's it." He knew he was saying nothing that wasn't true. Still, he felt that neither one of them actually believed it would be that simple.

But they had no choice. They called Metro Police and about an hour later they were surrounded by policemen who were busy securing the crime scene. Tony regretted calling them immediately. It felt absolutely wrong to just stand here and watch others do his job. Plus, he didn't like how they treated it as a crime scene because it made Ziva look guilty of something. The guy in charge, a Detective Barnett, was someone they had never worked with before and he asked Ziva essentially the same questions Tony had. Only he didn't know which ones _not_ to ask.

"Why couldn't you sleep, Ms… David?" he asked without looking up from his notes.

Ziva hesitated, but Tony didn't. "First of all, it's _Special Agent_ David. And that's none of your business," he said.

Now, Detective Barnett looked at him. "Really? And what makes it your business, Agent…?"

"DiNozzo. Big D, little i, big N, little ozzo," Tony replied immediately, but then hesitated as well. "And I'm a… friend."

"And were you with Special Agent David when she was attacked?" Barnett asked.

This time Ziva was faster to respond. "No, he wasn't. I called him afterwards."

Barnett focused on her again. "And why did you call him and not us?"

"She _did _call you!" Tony interjected again.

"Yes, but not right away."

Tony shook his head. This guy really started to annoy him. "Well, I already told you, I'm here for moral support."

Detective Barnett looked back and forth between them and put away his notes. "Alright, so let me get this straight. You couldn't sleep and decided to go running in the middle of night. These men, which you have never seen before, tried to attack you and you killed them with the knife, you conveniently carry around with you at all times, without getting so much as a scratch yourself?"

He knew it didn't look good if he kept defending Ziva while she didn't say anything (why didn't she?), but Tony couldn't help himself. "She's an NCIS agent! I don't know how you train your men, but at NCIS we learn to defend ourselves appropriately."

Barnett smiled grimly at him. "And that's exactly what I would like to investigate further – whether this really was appropriate. Until then, I'm placing you under arrest, Agent David. If you'd accompany me back to…"

"Hey! Wait a minute! You can't arrest her! She didn't do anything!" Tony couldn't believe what was going on. He should have never let Ziva call these idiots. Although the former police officer in him understood that Detective Barnett was only doing his job, he still felt the urge to shoot this guy.

"Really? I'm curious whether you would say the same thing if these were two dead sailors."

"They're not sailors. They're scum. They tried to rape her!" Tony pronounced every word very clearly even though he hated to bring this up again and again while Ziva was listening. But if this was necessary to get through to the Detective…

But apparently, Barnett was pretty fed up with him, too. "Yes, nevertheless, they are the ones who are lying dead on the ground. Now, I'll have to ask you to leave my crime scene unless you want me to arrest you as well!"

Tony opened his mouth to say something that probably would have had the same effect as a 'go straight to jail card', but Ziva beat him to it. "It's okay, Tony. Just go," she said and her beautiful dark eyes looked almost pleading.

Still, Tony wanted to protest, but thought better of it when he realized that he could be of much greater help to Ziva if he wasn't locked up. "I'll get someone from the legal department. Don't worry," he told her instead.

But Ziva didn't look worried. She looked… defeated somehow and that scared Tony more than anything. It was difficult for him to turn away, but he was determined to wake up everyone at NCIS if necessary as long as he got Ziva out of there.

* * *

><p>"Do you two know where I was?" Director Vance stood behind his desk and glared at them while he chewed on his toothpick with so much anger that Tony was waiting for it to break in half.<p>

"No, Sir," he replied because Ziva still wasn't very talkative. Tony didn't exactly feel comfortable at the moment either. But Vance could shout at him as long as he wanted to, Tony was still relieved that Ziva was no longer detained.

"I was at a beautiful little lake house up in Maine with my family because my wife had threatened to take the kids and leave if I didn't take a few days off. Now, I was about to go down to the lake with the kids when I got a call that one of my agents had been arrested for killing two men!" Vance spit out his toothpick and Ziva actually winced a little. "What the hell was I supposed to do?"

"Leave your cell phone at home next time?" Tony suggested, trying to lighten the mood a bit. He wasn't even sure who had gotten the Director involved, but in a way, he was glad because Vance had the necessary authority to actually help Ziva. And even though he was furious now, he was still on their side – or so Tony hoped.

"Do you think this is a joke, Agent DiNozzo?" Vance snapped, however.

Tony should have known better than to expect him to have a sense of humor. But then, this really was no joking matter. "No, I don't think it's funny that Metro Police arrested Ziva for defending herself."

"Well, it doesn't exactly look good. According to the preliminary report from the coroner, the stabs to the hearts of both men were so precise that they were dead before they even hit the ground while you, Agent David, stand before me absolutely healthy and unscathed. That doesn't exactly fit the profile of a self defense situation."

Tony shook his head in frustration. Vance sounded like Detective Barnett. "Ziva was with the Mossad, for heaven's sake! She was trained to kill like that!" he reminded the Director because at this point it seemed impossible not to mention it.

"Exactly," Vance however replied. "And that you showed up at the crime scene before the police did, suggesting an attempted cover-up, doesn't help either."

"Oh, come on! What is Detective Barnett thinking? Only because Ziva is an ex-Mossad officer, she's running around in the city at night killing people for fun?" Tony asked, incredulous.

"Yes, I assume that's exactly what he's thinking or what he will think once he finds out where Agent David has been for the last couple of months." Vance's eyes focused on Ziva who was staring blankly into space.

Now they were getting to the touchy spot and Tony knew that Ziva's current condition had everything to do with what had happened – certainly with why she had been running around at night in the first place. But he wasn't going to say that. "This is ridiculous!" he said instead.

But Vance was still looking at Ziva. "I don't know. Agent David has been awfully quiet. Unlike you, Agent DiNozzo, she hasn't been so eager to defend herself."

Now Ziva had no choice but to finally say something. "I have nothing to add to what I already said, Director. I killed these men because they attacked me. Why I was running in the park, I think is irrelevant to the case."

Well, Tony had to admit that Ziva's unemotional, almost stoic response to all of this was a little strange and suspicious – but he knew that Detective Barnett's suspicions went into the totally wrong direction.

Vance sighed, but Tony thought he saw in his eyes that he believed her as well. "Alright, I'll have to suspend you – at least until this entire mess has been cleaned up."

Ziva nodded. "Understood."

Vance sat down and they were finally allowed to leave his office. Down in the squad room Gibbs was waiting for them. He didn't say anything. He simply looked at Ziva.

"I'm suspended, pending further investigation," she told him.

Gibbs nodded. "Go home. Get some sleep. I'll call you."

Ziva immediately headed towards the elevator to follow these orders. Tony stayed right next to her. "I'll drive you," he said.

"That is not necessary, Tony…"

"The hell it's not!" he cut her off and stepped with her into the elevator. "Don't even try to argue with me. I'm with you this time, Ziva."

Perhaps Ziva sensed his determination or maybe she simply relapsed into her silence, but she really didn't try to fight him and that in itself was proof that she needed him. Tony had never seen her behave like this, although it seemed that he was thinking that a lot lately. In any case, he would drive her home and then he would make her tell him the whole story – or at least he would try. If they ended up sitting on the floor, eating Chinese food again, well, that was fine, too…

But Tony was determined not to leave Ziva alone anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

"Thanks for driving me, but you should go home now," Ziva said while she dragged herself across the threshold and into her apartment. She felt dead on her feet. She hadn't slept since the night before when Tony had stayed with her and after what had happened in the park and the following encounter with Detective Barnett, her detainment at the police station and the confrontation with Director Vance, she felt totally worn out.

"Would you stop trying to get rid of me?" Tony shot back, however, and closed the door behind him with more force than necessary.

Ziva turned to look at him and sighed. She was way too weak to argue with him now. "I just don't want you to get dragged into this any more than you already have."

"Yeah? Well, it's a bit late for that, don't you think?" Tony replied, but he didn't really sound angry.

"I know. I am sorry," Ziva told him, nevertheless.

But Tony shook his head and shrugged out of his jacket. Obviously, he had no intentions of leaving. "You don't have to apologize about anything, no matter what Vance or Metro Police says. Can you believe that Detective Barnett? What an idiot! I have no idea how he made it to detective…"

"He only did his job," Ziva reminded him.

"Oh no, I know what his job is. I used to do it myself. And it's not his job to lock up innocent people!" Tony was obviously so angry with Barnett that it was impossible to reason with him.

Still, Ziva said, "I am not innocent, Tony."

"Oh come on! You're not starting to believe what he said, are you? I mean, you don't say much of anything all day and now you're starting to defend Barnett? What's wrong with you? Why am I the only one who's mad at that guy? Why didn't you say something to defend yourself when he questioned you or at least when Vance did?"

Tony had suddenly become very agitated. He had raised his voice and taken several steps towards her, closing in on Ziva's personal space. Usually, she would have responded equally aggressive to force him to back off. But now it only triggered her defensive mode and she took a step back.

"I didn't say anything because they were right about me!" she hissed.

Tony shook his head. "You've got to be kidding me! You don't really want to tell me that you killed those guys for fun!"

"No, but I did kill them." Ziva couldn't believe how irrelevant that seemed to be for him, who had been a cop or an NCIS agent for so many years.

But he merely shrugged. "So what? No one will even notice that these guys are gone except for the poor, little girl who they might have tried to rape next. Besides, all you did was to defend yourself. They attacked you."

Now Ziva did take a step towards him after all. "Tony, I am a Mossad killer. Do you really think two drunk and pathetic men like that would have posed a serious threat to me?"

That finally seemed to get his attention. "So, what are you saying?" he asked, frowning.

"I could have just shaken them off or broken an arm or a leg if really necessary, but there was no need for me to kill them!" Ziva said and felt that she was losing her grip on all those emotions she had locked up to be able to deal with the police.

Tony, on the other hand, had calmed down again. He was looking at her very closely when he asked, "Then why did you?"

"Because I overreacted!" Ziva replied and now it was her turn to raise her voice. "When those men came at me and tried to stop me… I was suddenly back at Saleem's camp and he was coming back to torture me again and to exert his sick control over me. And I just felt all that rage and hatred. I did not want him to hurt me anymore and I simply lost control! I killed those men, drove my knife into their hearts like I wished I could have done it with Saleem."

With the last sentence her voice quieted down again and the energy left her, leaving her shaken by fresh memories. Ziva wrapped her arms around herself and tried to regain control, but images of Saleem's camp flashed before her eyes and her emotions were in turmoil. She was so full of hatred – she hated him for having left her with this sudden weakness. But at the same time she was so angry that it scared her because she didn't know what else she might do with that anger.

Tony sighed and reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. "Ziva…"

But she jerked her shoulder away from his touch. "No. It is not safe to be around me at the moment."

She heard Tony chuckle silently. "Oh come on, you won't hurt me, Ziva. I mean, seriously, if you wanted me dead, you would have killed me a long time ago."

"Who says I haven't been close?" Ziva asked.

"Oh, I know you have. I have the scars to prove it," Tony said and she knew that smile only too well. "But I don't care what you do to me. I don't care if you do to me what you couldn't do to him. I just want you to get through this."

Ziva stared at Tony in amazement. He could be so incredibly annoying and juvenile, but over the last few days he had done nothing but try to support her and just be there for her. And it wasn't as if that came as a total surprise to her. She had known for years now that Tony really was a sweet and caring guy if you could put up with his silliness that was. But what he had just said – that he was really willing to do anything to help her and was being honest about it – that really moved her.

"Why are you doing this, Tony?" she asked silently.

"I already told you why, but you said you weren't ready to hear it," Tony reminded her.

Ziva nodded. "I still do not think I am."

"Well, then don't ask."

They just stood there, looking at each other for a few moments until Ziva dropped her gaze. "I am sorry. I feel like I should give you something, but I can't."

Tony shook his head. "No, I already told you, whatever you're comfortable with is fine by me."

"You are just this way with me, aren't you?" Ziva asked, looking up again.

"Well, you're the only gorgeous, but equally mystifying ex-Mossad officer now NCIS Agent on Probation I know," Tony said and smiled at her in a way that actually made Ziva feel a little warmer inside.

And suddenly she changed her mind about what she had said earlier. "Tony, would you stay here and sleep with me tonight?"

Tony's smile turned into a confused grin. "Is that a trick question?"

Ziva frowned at first, but then she realized what her question must have sounded like to him. "No, that is not what I meant. I meant, sleep _next to_ me again. And you would know that."

"Hey, as I just said, either way would be fine with me," Tony said, a grin now really spreading across his face.

"Don't push it, Tony!" Ziva warned him before heading towards the bathroom to take a quick shower.

When she was done, she lay down on her side of the bed, wondering since when she was thinking of it as 'her' side as opposed to 'his' side and listening to the water running in the bathroom while Tony was taking a shower as well. This time, Tony slipped under the covers, too, but Ziva realized that it didn't feel as strange as it had two nights ago.

Apparently, she could get used to Tony's presence in her bed. So Ziva listened to his breathing and waited for the calming effect she had experienced the other night. But the irregular intervals of his breaths told her that Tony was lying awake as well.

After a few minutes, he suddenly turned towards her and propped himself up on an elbow to look at her, at least as much as that was possible in the darkness of her bedroom. "What did he do to you, Ziva? I know it's hard, but perhaps it would help you to just talk about it…"

_And be done with it_, he seemed to add mutely. Ziva highly doubted that it would be that simple. Until now she had tried to lock all those painful emotions up somewhere deep inside of her, tried to store them away together with Tali's death and Ari's and everything else that had once threatened to tear her heart into pieces. But the two dead bodies which were now lying in autopsy proved that her approach had not been very successful. So perhaps, Tony was right about this. Everything he had done so far had actually made her feel better after all. She just had to stop fighting it.

"They locked me up in a small, dirty room," Ziva slowly began to remember. "There was no food or water. He only gave me water when I was so dehydrated, he thought I might die. And he did not want me to die like that because then his game would have been over without him being the winner."

"Game?" Tony asked carefully because he probably couldn't think of what Saleem had done to her as a game.

Ziva looked straight ahead into the darkness when she continued. "That is what it was. Saleem did not want information from me. He caused me pain because he wanted to break me, because he enjoyed having control over me. He merely played with me."

"Did he try to rape you?" Tony asked, his voice barely audible, and Ziva could feel the tension radiating from his body.

"No," she replied and Tony relaxed a little. "But he might have if he had decided that causing me more pain would not break me."

"Did he torture you every day?"

"No, but the days blended into each other. I would not have been able to tell you how long I had been there already when you showed up to rescue me."

"Couldn't you have somehow marked each passing day on the walls or something?" Tony asked, probably thinking of some stupid movie he had seen.

Ziva shrugged. "I could have, but it did not matter to me."

"Why not?"

She hesitated because she knew that Tony didn't like the answer, but then, it wasn't as if he didn't already know. "Because I thought I would die there. Because I was ready to die there."

Tony lay very still for a moment, then he reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. Whether this was meant to reassure her or himself, Ziva wasn't quite sure. "If you wanted to die, why didn't you just give in?" he finally asked in a very subdued voice.

"Because that was the last bit of control he had not taken from me yet – to refuse to die, to refuse to let him break me," Ziva replied without hesitation this time.

"What exactly did he do to you?"

Ziva sighed. "You do not want to know, Tony."

"No, I don't. But I still need to know," he insisted.

"No, you don't. You should not have to hear any of this."

"I can handle it. You are not the one who should worry about _me_. Besides, I was there, too, and experienced some of Saleem's pleasantries myself," Tony reminded her.

Ziva shook her head. "It is not because I think that you cannot stand to hear it, but because it will make you hate him."

"But I already hate that bastard!" Tony insisted, steel creeping into his voice.

"Not as much as you could. Not as much as I do," Ziva said. "You do not understand, Tony. It is not about the pain. I could deal with that. It was not the first time that I was hurt during a Mossad operation. Physical wounds heal. It is not the scars he left me, but what else he left me with – all that hatred for him and that feeling of being weak, unable to protect myself or to trust others. But Saleem is already dead so there is no way for me to get this out of my system. I have to carry it within, but it is hard and that is why those two men had to die and why you probably should not even be here right now…"

Ziva felt it. The tear glistening in her eyes and she hated it. The weakness was probably the hardest part for her to deal with. But right now she was too physically and emotionally exhausted to even try to fight it.

"But I won't go anywhere, Ziva," Tony whispered. "Never." He reached over and wiped the tear from her face with his thumb.

And Ziva instinctively leaned into his touch. She didn't really know what was going on inside of her. She knew she shouldn't drag him into this because she didn't know whether she would hurt him or whether she was really able to trust him. But right now, Ziva didn't care. He was just… her Tony and he was warm and loving and he was here.

Tony willingly opened his arms for her and he didn't say anything. He just held her and let her tears fall silently.

* * *

><p>Tony woke up again when someone knocked at the door. He had no idea what time it was, but he saw the light shining through the curtains. Still, Tony had no intentions of going anywhere because he was quite comfortable where he was – lying in bed with Ziva's head resting in his armpit.<p>

God, she looked so gorgeous, even though she had cried herself to sleep. It had scared him a little to see her cry, but he hoped that this was what she had needed, that it would help her to get better somehow.

There was another knock on the door. Apparently, whoever that was had no intentions of leaving either. Tony sighed and decided to get up before the unpleasant visitor would wake up Ziva. She needed all the sleep she could get right now. Tired and disgruntled because he had been forced to leave the bed and Ziva's side, Tony opened the door.

Suddenly he wished he wouldn't be standing here, wearing only his boxers. "Hey Boss, this is not what it looks like."

Gibbs' expression was as fathomless as always. "What does it look like, DiNozzo?"

"Like we broke rule nr. 12?" Tony suggested. "But we didn't. I just stayed over so that Ziva wouldn't have to be alone because you know…"

"Detective Barnett closed up his investigation," Gibbs interrupted his babbling.

Tony frowned. "That's… good, isn't it?"

"No. He refuses to change his mind about Ziva. He's charging her with murder."

"What?" It took all of Tony's willpower to stop a string of profanities from leaving his mouth. "What the hell is wrong with that guy?" He shook his head. "No, Ziva won't make it through a trial, not if they drag Saleem and her father and everything into it. She's not ready."

"Then you will have to help her, Tony," Gibbs said like he was merely asking him to get a cup of coffee or something.

Tony shook his head. "Yeah, and how do I do that? I'm not usually good at this, Boss. I just make a joke and hope that everything will pass. But it doesn't work like that this time. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Well, DiNozzo, looks to me like you're doing just fine."

Tony sighed and wished he could actually believe that. He glanced into the bedroom where Ziva was still sleeping and the thought that this Barnett asshole would try to lock her up again, made him ball his hands into fists.

No. He wouldn't allow her to be taken away from him. Never again.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Two chapters today because I wanted to get started on the trial. But all my wannabe knowledge of court proceedings comes from watching JAG so don't sue me. Also, it's my birthday tomorrow so if you want to give me a present, just read and review ;)

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><p>"Hey, I got us some pizza and before you start protesting, it's from this new pizza place that's supposed to be real good. There was a food review in the Washington Post." Tony dropped the pizza on the table in front of the TV and shrugged out of his jacket.<p>

Ziva emerged from the kitchen with two bottles of water in her hands. "You don't read the Washington Post, Tony," she reminded him and sat down on the couch.

"Not true. I enjoy the crossword puzzles." Tony grinned at her. "Besides, I got a movie you'll like, so stop complaining, Zee-vah."

Ziva reached for the DVD and frowned. "Angelina Jolie? Yes, I see why that is a movie for me and not you."

"Hey, her movies are all about female empowerment," Tony defended himself. "It was the best I could do because they didn't have any Xena episodes."

He started the movie and Ziva merely shook her head and took a slice of pizza. "How was work today?" she asked.

Tony settled down next to her. "We got a suspect. Gibbs cracked him in interrogation. I glued McGoo's fingers to his keyboard. Same as usual." He shrugged and started nibbling at the pizza, too. It really was good, but he had to file that away for later. "What about you? How did the meeting with the lawyer go? I hope you kept rule nr. 13 in mind."

Ziva seemed to think about that for a few seconds, then she said, "Never get involved with a lawyer?"

Tony couldn't help laughing. "Oh yeah, that way it's even better." Ziva frowned, obviously trying to figure out what she had done wrong this time, but this was not the time for another English lesson. "So how was it?"

"It was fine," Ziva replied, but her eyes suddenly seemed extremely focused on the TV where Angelina Jolie was being chased by a bunch of CIA idiots.

But Tony wouldn't have believed it, anyway. "Excuse me? How can anything that involves lawyers ever be fine?"

"If you already know that, then why do you ask?"

"Well, I want to know what you talked about. What's the strategy?" Tony insisted.

Ziva was still watching how Jolie jumped from one truck to the next on the highway. "Not to get me convicted for murder."

"That's not funny, Ziva," Tony snapped and pressed the pause button on the remote control. "You're going to court in two days! I seriously hope you came up with something better than that!"

Finally, Ziva looked at him again. "She said something about self defense, but I am not a lawyer, Tony. I do not know. But she seemed very competent to me."

"It's a she?" Tony asked in surprise, although he immediately felt that he was pleased to hear that.

"Yes, Tony, she is. Her number is on the card she gave me. It's on my bedside table," Ziva replied, rolling her eyes in exasperation. Apparently, she had misunderstood his enthusiasm.

Tony shook his head. "I don't want her number," he corrected. "Her name perhaps so that I can google her and find out whether she really is the best lawyer you could get."

Ziva looked at him with a peculiar expression in her eyes, then she smiled. "She will do. Now, do you want to watch that movie or not?"

"Hah, so you do like it!" A triumphant grin spread across Tony's face.

"Well, she has got some interesting moves," Ziva admitted and glanced at the screen where Jolie had just been about to kick-start a motorbike on a truck trailer.

"Yeah, at least you have a Plan B then if it goes bad in court," Tony joked and pressed the play button.

Ziva actually smiled a bit wistfully and while she kept watching the movie, Tony settled back to eat his pizza and watch her.

Everything could have been absolutely perfect – the two of them sitting here, watching a movie and eating pizza. It all felt so natural as if it had always been supposed to be like this. But still, Tony couldn't ignore that sword of Damocles hanging over their heads and he was also wondering whether they shouldn't rather spend their time talking than watching some stupid movie that ignored all the laws of physics. But then, perhaps it would do Ziva some good to return to a little normalcy.

She seemed pretty relaxed right now and with a sigh, Tony decided to try and follow her example.

* * *

><p>There was a knock on the door, but Tony hesitated. The last time he had opened the door, he had given Gibbs who-knows-what kind of impression. But then, it really did look suspicious that he was sitting here in Ziva's living room while she was in the bathroom taking a shower. It looked as if they were… an item. But they weren't or were they?<p>

Tony's words and actions had been pretty straightforward in his opinion and he had barely stopped short of telling her that he wanted to be with her. And in a way, by allowing him to stay here and to sleep next to her at night, Ziva had responded to that quite positively, even though she had refused to talk about it.

Tony sighed. It didn't matter what it looked like to others or that they hadn't actually defined what 'it' was themselves. What did matter was that they would get Ziva through this trial without a conviction, and perhaps, it was Gibbs again, standing on the other side of that door, who had come to deliver more important news.

So, Tony went to open the door once more, but it wasn't Gibbs who greeted him this time. It was a middle-aged woman in a dark blue suit with perfect nails and blonde hair and a pleasant, but slightly confused smile.

"I'm sorry, I was looking for Ms. Ziva David," she said.

"And who are you?" Tony asked, frowning. He couldn't imagine what a woman like that could possibly want from Ziva.

"My name is Claire Senate. I'm Ms. David's attorney, or I try to be."

Tony couldn't believe he hadn't thought of that in the first place. "Of course, come on in. Ziva is just taking a shower, but she'll be out in a minute."

"Thank you," Ms. Senate said, but she gave Tony a weird, almost scrutinizing look while she stepped inside. Before he could ask her what was wrong, she asked, "Are you… Tony by any chance?"

Surprised, Tony momentarily forgot to close the door behind her. "I am Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, yes. Have we met before?" He was pretty sure that they hadn't and feverishly hoped that she wasn't one of those one-night stands he had conveniently erased from his memory, but in any case, it seemed polite to ask.

"Oh no, Ms. David just mentioned your name during our meeting."

This time, Tony smiled for real. "Ah, okay then. Well, I'll just go tell her to hurry up."

"Actually, I would like to have a quick word with you if you don't mind," Ms. Senate held him back.

Again, Tony looked surprised, but he nodded. "Sure, have a seat."

They sat down and Ziva's lawyer reached for her briefcase and pulled out a pile of notes. "I need your help, Agent DiNozzo. My meeting with Ms. David was, let's say, not as productive as I would have liked."

Again, Tony should have seen that one coming. "Let me guess," he said, "she wasn't very chatty."

"No, unfortunately not," Ms. Senate agreed, glancing at her notes. "She did tell me about the incident in the park, but very little beyond that. NCIS was so kind to forward parts of her file to me and I read that she had returned to Mossad and been declared killed in action until just recently."

Tony stiffened a little at the memory. "Yes, luckily that was a little premature."

Ms. Senate nodded. "Unfortunately, I couldn't find detailed information about what happened to her and Ms. David absolutely refused to talk about it."

"Yes, well, that's a bit of a touchy spot," Tony told her, glancing towards the bathroom door. "Ziva was held captive in a terrorist camp and she's still struggling to recover from that."

"Oh dear… yes, I thought it had to be something like that," Ms. Senate said and started scribbling something on her notes. "I understand that it would be difficult for Ms. David to talk about it, especially in court, but even without knowing any details about it, I got the distinct impression that it is somehow connected to the incident in the park. If that is the case, it could qualify as mitigating circumstances."

Tony frowned. "I thought mitigating circumstances were only relevant if somebody's been found guilty."

"Well, Ms. David already admitted that she killed those two men," the female attorney reminded him.

"But it was self defense, not murder!" Tony couldn't stop himself from raising his voice and only afterwards he realized how unwise that was with Ziva being next door.

To her credit, Ms. Senate didn't seem impressed by his little outburst at all. She was probably used to people acting like that in court. "I'm not saying I want to abandon the self defense angle, but you have to understand that the DA will dig up all the dirt he can find to present Ms. David as a ruthless Mossad killer – the aggressor and not the victim. Now, of course we could try to win on character alone, but I think it's quite risky to hope that the jury will be swayed by the testimonies of Ms. David's colleagues and not by whatever the DA will present them with."

For a moment, Tony was distracted by the thought of what Gibbs, McGee, Abby, Ducky or himself would have to say about Ziva – only the best, of course, especially under these circumstances. But you never knew what questions the DA might ask…

"If however, Ms. David talks about what happened to her and how that affected her and her actions, it will not only present the killing in a different light, it will also show her less as the former Mossad assassin and more like the female victim the jury would sympathize with," Ms. Senate concluded.

"Oh no, she won't like that at all." Tony shook his head. "She doesn't care for being portrayed as a victim and especially not because she's a woman."

Ziva's attorney didn't look convinced. "Well, how much does she care for twenty to life in prison?" she asked impassively.

Tony cursed under his breath. He suddenly realized how much he appreciated rule nr. 13. Although, if he was honest with himself, Ms. Senate was only trying to do her job and she seemed to know what she was doing, too. She seemed genuinely interested in getting an acquittal – never mind whether that was for Ziva's sake or her own benefit – and her strategy sounded logical to him. Now all they needed was to get Ziva to agree to it. But Ms. Senate was right. This was the rest of her life they were talking about…

"Alright, I'll talk to her," Tony decided, already not looking forward to that. "Tomorrow morning my head will either be disconnected from by body or Ziva will show up in your office."

Ms. Senate looked slightly alarmed, but stowed away her notes and rose to her feet again. "Thank you, Agent DiNozzo. I appreciate the help."

"You're welcome," Tony replied and chose not to add that he wasn't doing this for her but for Ziva. She probably knew that, anyway.

Shortly after the apartment had returned to being a lawyer-free area, Ziva emerged from the bathroom. "Who was that at the door?" she asked immediately.

Instead of answering her question, Tony cut right to the case. "You lied to me, Ziva. The meeting with your lawyer was not _fine_!"

Ziva seemed to put two and two together and merely asked, "What did she tell you?"

"That you didn't cooperate with her."

"I told her everything she needed to know," Ziva replied, sounding indifferent about it, and began to turn away as if that concluded the conversation.

But Tony caught her by the wrist to stop her. "Apparently not."

"I will not talk about it in court, Tony," Ziva said and revealed that she knew exactly what this was all about.

Tony sighed. "I know it's hard, Ziva. But Ms. Senate knows what she's doing. We should just trust her on this one."

"Really? What happened to rule nr. 13?"

"That went right out of the window when you decided to run around and kill people!"

That made Ziva pause and she just looked at him for a while. "Why do you get so worked up about this, Tony?" she asked eventually.

Tony shook his head in disbelief. "The better question is: why don't you? Don't you understand that you could be thrown into prison for years? And even if you get off the hook, this sure as hell doesn't look good on your citizenship application! How often do I have to tell you that I don't want to lose you? And when will you finally stop sabotaging all of my attempts to make sure that doesn't happen?"

Ziva only hesitated for a split second, then she closed the remaining distance between them and placed a light kiss on his lips. "I am sorry, Tony. I never wanted you to get hurt or stressed out like this. I will talk to my lawyer again, but I cannot promise you anything."

"That's… okay. As long as you give it a try…" was all Tony managed to reply because he was too stunned by what had just happened and his lips were still tingling pleasantly and yearning for more.

But Ziva was already turning away from him and reaching for her cell phone, most likely to call Claire Senate. And that was probably for the best because this way Tony had enough time to calm himself down again. Otherwise he might have done something that could have ruined everything. Ziva had told him several times not to push it and so far allowing her to come to him had worked out pretty well. All he needed was a little more patience and the help of one Claire Senate to get through this god-awful trial…


	8. Chapter 8

The day had finally come. At exactly 0900 hours Ziva was expected to show up in court today. She was being stoic about it, of course, and Tony had decided to stick with his policy of not-pushing it. If she didn't want to talk about it, fine. She wouldn't have to testify just yet, anyway. All she had to do was sit there and listen to what other people had to say about her.

Tony grimaced when he thought about what they would possibly say about him if he were to be accused of murder – again. Nope, that certainly wouldn't be a very pleasant experience. Still, Tony would have swapped places with Ziva any time if he had been given the chance. But he hadn't, of course.

So he tried to prepare himself for sitting in court all day, balling his hands into fists while the prosecution presented the jury will lots of bullshit. But it didn't turn out as bad as Tony had thought it would because the DA, a guy called Matthew Henderson, presented his case pretty fast and efficient. His two main witnesses were Detective Barnett, who reported all that crap about how Ziva had been way too calm for a rape victim (or almost rape victim), had suffered no injuries whatsoever and so on, and the coroner who had performed the autopsy on the two dead bodies and testified to the unusual preciseness of the inflicted wounds. But Ziva's attorney did her best to diffuse their statements by asking Detective Barnett whether he had found any connection between Ziva and those two men that could prove that she had killed them intentionally. Barnett's 'wrong time, wrong place' answer sounded pretty lame to Tony.

Afterwards, the DA announced that the government would rest for now and the judge ordered a lunch break. Ms. Senate showed Tony and Ziva the way towards the cafeteria, but Tony had a hard time convincing Ziva to eat anything at all. Eventually, they settled on a chocolate bar.

"So now it's our turn?" Tony asked when it was almost time to return to the courtroom.

Ziva's lawyer nodded. "I will call our first witnesses to the stand, yes."

"Okay, well, don't worry," Tony said, looking at Ziva again. "The prosecution bears the burden of proof so all we need is reasonable doubt, right?"

"Very good," Ms. Senate said, actually looking a little impressed. "Did you study up on your law skills, Agent DiNozzo?"

Tony shrugged. "Nah, just what you need to know as a former cop." No need to mention that he had spent the early morning hours, during which Ziva had been sound asleep, googling court proceedings and murder cases.

They returned to the courtroom, but Tony held Ziva back before she could enter while her lawyer was gracious enough to pretend that she hadn't noticed and disappeared into the courtroom, leaving them alone for a minute.

"How are you feeling?" Tony asked.

Ziva looked at him, but her beautiful dark eyes were as fathomless as always. "I am fine, Tony."

"Yeah, the hell you are," he shot back, shaking his head.

"It is what it is, Tony. There is no use talking about it. Besides, did you not just tell me not to worry?"

"Yeah, well, you never listen to me, anyway," Tony said and sighed. "Just… whatever happens in there… remember that I'm here for you." And he dared to kiss her on the corner of her mouth and to his relief, she didn't get mad or anything and just gave him that mysterious smile of hers before turning around and entering the courtroom.

In there, Tony's own smile vanished pretty quickly. The first witness to testify on Ziva's behalf was Gibbs.

"Agent Gibbs, you are Ms. David's direct superior. Is that correct?" Ms. Senate began questioning him.

"Yes," Gibbs replied in his usual curt manner and he looked pretty calm up there on the stand.

"For how long now?"

"Four years and a couple of months."

Ziva's attorney certainly seemed to appreciate the briefness of his answers. "And what exactly is her job at NCIS?"

"To investigate crime scenes, process evidence and interrogate suspects," Gibbs replied.

"Not to kill anyone?" Ms. Senate clarified.

"No."

"Did it bother you that Ms. David had worked as a Mossad assassin before?" she continued.

"No," Gibbs replied once more. "We all have a past. I was a Marine sniper before I came to NCIS. Ziva's abilities proved to be very useful."

"And do you trust her?"

Gibbs didn't hesitate for a second. "With my life."

Tony sighed in relief and Ms. Senate seemed pleased with testimony as well. "Thank you, Agent Gibbs. No further questions."

Unfortunately, that Henderson guy had some. "Did you first meet Ms. David when she came to work for NCIS?"

"No," Gibbs replied again, only this time it was clear that the shortness of his answer was not supposed to be helpful, but he simply didn't want to talk about it.

"How did you meet then?" the DA still insisted.

"Ziva came to NCIS to help us find an Israeli criminal." It was obvious that Gibbs had chosen each of his words very carefully.

But the DA kept pushing. "What was the name of that criminal?"

"Ari Haswari." Tony could still hear the hatred in Gibbs' voice and he could only hope that Henderson hadn't noticed it as well.

"What had he done?" he asked, however. Apparently, he had noticed.

Gibbs' facial expression hardened. "He had killed an NCIS agent and numerous others."

"Then you must have wanted to catch him pretty badly…" Henderson said, but he had barely finished that sentence when Ziva's defense counsel rose to her feet.

"Objection! Where's the relevance in all this?" she asked.

Henderson turned towards the judge. "Agent Gibbs is here to testify on Ms. David's character and their working relationship. I'm merely trying to get the complete picture if I'm allowed, Your Honor."

"Overruled, for now," the judge, a pretty grim looking, middle-aged, bald-headed man, decided.

With a smug expression on his face that made Tony clench his teeth, the DA turned back towards Gibbs. "So it was very important for you to catch Mr. Haswari?"

"Yes," Gibbs replied, obviously reluctant.

"And what kind of relationship did Ms. David have with Mr. Haswari?"

_Oh crap_, Tony thought and didn't envy Gibbs for the position he was in now.

But he didn't have much of a choice. "He was her half-brother," he admitted.

"Ms. David's half brother killed an NCIS agent?" Henderson asked, pretending to be surprised, even though he must have known the answer all along. That bastard.

"Objection!" Ms. Senate however called again, to Tony's relief. "Prosecuting Counsel is badgering the witness. Agent Gibbs already answered that question."

This time, the judge nodded. "Sustained. My patience is wearing thin, Counselor."

"Sorry, Your Honor. So, Haswari was Ms. David's brother and she came to help you catch him?" Henderson continued and didn't seem chastised at all.

"Ziva was Ari's control officer at the time. It was her job to oversee his actions and she came to Washington to find out what was going on, hoping that the accusations against him would be false and he would be proven innocent," Gibbs gave his longest answer so far, in an obvious attempt to defend Ziva's actions. Tony was intensely grateful for it.

But the DA simply wouldn't back off. "And at that time, were you absolutely sure that Ms. David would not try to help her brother, no matter whether he was innocent or not?"

For the first time, Gibbs hesitated. "No, I was not," he finally admitted.

"Didn't you rather order one of your agents to follow Ms. David and keep an eye on her?" Tony winced when his part in the entire Ari disaster was mentioned and couldn't help wondering how the hell the DA had found out about all that.

"Yes, hoping Ziva would lead us to Ari. I would have done that with everyone outside NCIS who would have gotten involved in the investigation." Gibbs again elaborated on that far more than Henderson had asked for.

He didn't seem to mind, though. "And what happened to Ari Haswari in the end?"

"He was shot."

"By whom? I remind you you're under oath, Agent Gibbs."

_Shit_, Tony cursed and tried to look at Ziva. She seemed as calm as she had been since this morning, but her eyes were glistening as if she might be holding back tears.

"… Ziva shot him," Gibbs replied and also glanced at Ziva as if he wanted to apologize for telling the truth. But obviously, Henderson had known the answer already or he wouldn't have posed the question like that.

That didn't stop him from faking surprise, though. "She killed her own brother?"

"She did it to save me once she'd realized that Ari was indeed a terrorist, working for both Hamas and Al-Qaeda," Gibbs immediately shot back.

"Nevertheless, you didn't want her on your team afterwards, isn't that right, Agent Gibbs?"

"My objections had to do with her lacking qualifications only…"

"Because she was a killer," the DA suggested.

"Because she was no investigator," Gibbs corrected, looking as if he might jump down from the stand to strangle that guy.

Henderson seemed unperturbed. "Thank you, Agent Gibbs. No further questions."

He had barely sat down when Ms. Senate was on her feet again. "Redirect, Your Honor?"

"Go ahead," the judge nodded.

"Agent Gibbs, how did the incident with Ari Haswari affect your relationship with Ms. David?" she asked.

"I started trusting her," Gibbs replied much more willingly.

"Why?"

"Because I know how hard it was for Ziva to kill Ari, but she did it to save many innocent lives, including mine."

"Thank you, Agent Gibbs," Ms. Senate said once more, but she looked as if the whole 'Ziva killed her own brother' business had not been part of her plan.

That was why Tony felt pretty nervous when it was his turn to take the stand. He had seen how hard Gibbs had to struggle as to not incriminate Ziva further with his testimony and Tony was not looking forward to his own confrontation with the DA.

But first, it was Ms. Senate's turn to ask the questions. "Agent DiNozzo, you have been at the crime scene as well. Would you please tell us why you were there?"

"Because Ziva had called me," Tony replied, remembering Ms. Senate's warning not to volunteer more information than was asked for.

"Did she tell you why she had decided to call you instead of the police?"

Tony was glad he had been prepared for all these questions because otherwise he might have hesitated, thinking about how he had asked Ziva the very same thing. "Because she was shocked by what had happened and needed moral support. Metro Police is not exactly known for their willingness to hold hands."

Ziva's attorney gave him a warning look for that last comment, but continued, "Detective Barnett testified that Ms. David didn't seem troubled at all. How do you explain that?"

"He doesn't know her. Ziva is a very withdrawn person. She doesn't just show her emotions to some stranger. Besides, dealing with crime scenes is her job. She tried to be professional about it to speed up the entire process."

"And is there any doubt in your mind, Agent DiNozzo, being the one who arrived at the crime scene first and the one who knows Ms. David's behavior from other work-related incidents, that she only killed these two men because they attacked her?"

Tony was secretly glad that she had phrased the question like that instead of asking whether Ziva didn't have a choice but to kill them. This way, he could answer with absolute certainty, "No, there is absolutely no doubt about that."

Ms. Senate gave him a short, reassuring smile before sitting down and making room for the DA. Tony tried to brace himself. He was going to do what he had been told to do – remain calm and not get aggressive.

"Agent DiNozzo, have you been to Israel lately?"

Okay, now Tony had not expected _that_. Luckily, their lawyer spared him the need to answer that question right away. "Objection! Relevance?"

"Defense counsel presented Agent DiNozzo as an expert on Ms. David's behavior based on former work-related incidents. I'm merely trying to follow up on that," Henderson weaseled his way out again.

"Overruled. You may answer the question, Agent DiNozzo," the judge decided to Tony's great dismay.

Nothing good could come out of talking about their latest trip to Israel. "Yes, I was in Tel-Aviv a few months ago."

"Why did you fly to Tel-Aviv?" Henderson asked.

Tony stared into the man's eyes. Was he really determined to dig up each and every painful incident from Ziva's life? First Ari, now Rivkin… "Because I had killed a Mossad operative."

"How did that happen?"

"It was self defense. He attacked me," Tony replied, feeling a lot like Ziva right now.

"Why did he attack you?" Henderson continued mercilessly.

Tony went through several possible answers, but finally he said, "Because I tried to arrest him for the killing of a federal agent and a terrorist handler named Abin Tabal."

"Did you have proof for that?"

"We knew that someone had accessed Tabal's computer and Rivkin's presence at Ziva's apartment was proof enough," Tony shot back and only afterwards realized what he had just said.

"So the incident took place at Ms. David's apartment?" Henderson immediately picked up on that and Tony could only refrain from kicking his own ass by reminding himself that the DA had probably known all that, already. "Why was Mr. Rivkin in Ms. David's apartment?"

Tony grimaced. He so didn't want to go through that again with Ziva looking right at him. "He was staying there on _vacation_."

"So he and Ms. David knew each other?"

"He was her boyfriend," Tony admitted grudgingly.

"You shot Ms. David's boyfriend in her own apartment and she didn't mind?"

"No, she did mind. But I didn't have a choice and I hadn't planned for that to happen. I didn't even know he would be there!" Tony tried to explain and again realized only afterwards that he had just given exactly the kind of answer Henderson had been hoping for. Damn those lawyers!

"So you didn't originally drive to Ms. David's apartment to talk to Mr. Rivkin?" he asked.

"No, I wanted to talk to Ziva."

The DA nodded. "Because the terrorist's computer had been used at her apartment?"

Suddenly Tony thought he knew where this was going and he nearly bit off his tongue when he said, "… Yes."

"So you thought that Ms. David was the one who had been in contact with a terrorist?"

"No, I did not," Tony almost spat at him.

"But why did you drive to her apartment all alone then?"

"I wanted to give her a chance to explain…"

"… and to cover it up if necessary," the DA added.

Thankfully, Ms. Senate stepped in at this point – finally. "Objection! Counsel is answering his own questions."

"Sustained. Wherever you're going with this, you better get there soon," the judge warned Henderson.

"I'm just trying to show a pattern here, Your Honor. Obviously, attempted cover-ups are nothing new at NCIS," the DA defended himself.

Tony probably should have kept his mouth shut and let Ziva's lawyer handle it, but he couldn't. "We didn't cover up anything. Ziva didn't do anything! It was Rivkin who crossed the line!"

Henderson almost smiled at him. "Just as Mr. Haswari, her brother, had done before. Ms. David seems to bring out strange qualities in the men around her."

"Objection! Argumentative!"

"Withdrawn. No further questions," Henderson said without even waiting for the judge's response.

* * *

><p>"What the hell was that?" Tony ranted after the judge had announced that the court was in recess until tomorrow morning and they were standing in the corridor outside the courtroom. "Where was the sense in bringing up Rivkin?"<p>

"The sense was to point out Ms. David's relationship with another rogue operative and diminish the credibility of your former testimony by making you angry," Ziva's attorney replied while Ziva herself remained silent.

Tony sighed. He knew he had screwed up, he just didn't know how badly. "So the DA was the winner today?" he asked.

"No, I wouldn't go that far. Agent Gibbs was still a good character witness and the prosecution's case is everything but watertight. He didn't make a very compelling case when it came to proving intent and tried to discredit you and Agent Gibbs instead. Let's hope that the jury will have noticed that, too. Besides, Ms. David's own testimony will be the most important one." She glanced at Ziva who still hadn't said anything.

Tony turned towards her. "I'm sorry you had to hear all that. Are we still good?" He was referring to the whole Rivkin debacle of course. He had hoped that they would never have to talk about that ever again…

Ziva looked at him and he could see in her eyes that the day in court had taken a huge toll on her, but before she could say anything, a vaguely familiar voice approached them.

"Ziva!"

She turned towards it and froze and so did Tony when he saw Director Eli David heading right towards them.

_Great, this just gets better and better…_


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Sorry it took a little longer to update this time. Eli was giving me some trouble, but I hope you like the way it turned out. And thanks so much to GrassyNight, Someoneslove, Candy77, pbfn242751, Robern and Jedi Kay-Kenobi for the great reviews and lovely birthday wishes and to pirate-princess1 and ForeignMusicLyrics for the extra-special PMs!

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><p>While Ziva, Tony and their attorney all seemed frozen in various stages of shock or confusion, Eli David strode towards them without any sign of hesitation. When he had reached them, he put his hands on Ziva's shoulders and kissed his daughter on both cheeks. Ziva didn't recoil from his touch, but she didn't react to it either. She stood as still as a statue.<p>

But she was sure that her eyes would have given her away because there were so many emotions swirling inside her right now that it seemed impossible to control them all. First of all, there had been the shock of seeing him here, but that had quickly turned into anger. How did he dare to show up here like a concerned father after everything he had done to her? For a split-second, Ziva considered whether he might actually be worried about the outcome of this trial, but her resentment towards him quickly overpowered that thought.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him coldly.

Eli took a step back and Ziva hoped it was because he recognized that look in her eyes that told him to leave her the hell alone. "I heard about this ridiculous trial and came as fast as I could," he replied however.

Ziva was too agitated to tell whether he had told the truth and had actually come to the US with the sole purpose of seeing her, but she didn't really want to know. She wouldn't have liked either answer, anyway. "Why?" she insisted instead.

Her father frowned. "To see whether you are alright and to stop this ridiculous nonsense."

She ignored the arrogance in his words because there was a far more important issue here that made her almost burst with anger. "Why do you even care whether I get convicted or not?"

"Ziva, I am your father." The indignation in Eli's voice pushed her over the edge.

"You sent me into the desert to die!" she yelled at him. Tony fidgeted next to her as if he was trying very hard not to step in and Ms. Senate looked shocked. Thankfully, everybody else had already left.

Eli's expression hardened. "That was different. I did what I had to do for the good of our country and our people and so did you!"

Ziva shook her head. Work had been his excuse for everything ever since she had been a little girl. She was so sick of it. "You said that every time. Your duty to Israel was always more important to you than your duty to your family. But being Director of Mossad does not stop you from being a father. You cannot just switch it on and off as you please!"

"Do you really think it was that easy for me?" Eli shot back, raising his voice as well now. "Do you think it didn't kill me to send my only daughter on a suicide mission? I loved you and Ari and Tali – all of you!"

Their names coming from his lips pierced her heart like a knife. "With your so called love you first signed off on Ari's death and then on mine. Perhaps, it is good that Tali died so young or you would have found a way to kill her as well."

Fury flashed in her father's eyes and he raised a hand as if he intended to slap her in the face. Ziva didn't even flinch. "Do it," she said, her voice cold as ice. "It cannot hurt any more than what I have already been through."

Eli froze and then lowered his arm again. Tony visibly relaxed a little. "I see you refuse to see this from any other point of view than your own," Eli said, sounding much more composed now. "I shouldn't be surprised. You have always been stubborn. Perhaps it is best if we continue this conversation once you've had time to calm down."

"No. You sent me away to die and as far as you are concerned, I _am_ dead," Ziva replied without hesitation and since there was nothing more she had to say to him, she walked right past him, heading for the exit, Tony following on her heels.

Her lawyer stayed behind and before Ziva was out of earshot, she heard her address her father. "Mr. David? My name is Claire Senate. I'm your daughter's attorney and I think we should talk."

But Ziva wasn't interested in hearing any of that and she hurried to leave the building and reach her car until she remembered that Tony had been the one to drive them here this morning. She stopped dead and Tony walked right into her.

"Give me your car keys!" she demanded, turning around to him.

Tony looked hesitant. "I'd prefer to live for a few more years if you don't mind," he said in a voice that sounded half-joking and half-serious as if he wasn't sure which was the right way to go.

"Then give me the keys!" Ziva hissed although she was well aware that Tony didn't deserve to suffer from her anger, frustration and childish feelings of abandonment. But she couldn't really help that right now.

Tony sighed and gave her the keys. They got into the car and when Ziva started driving, Tony clung to the dashboard, but neither one of them said anything for a while. Ziva for her part had nothing to say. So many things had been said in court today and after her confrontation with her father, Ziva felt drained of all her remaining strength. But she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight even if she were spared her usual nightmares.

"Ms. Senate seemed optimistic about your chances in court after today," Tony finally said.

But that he had been quiet for so long proved that he wasn't sure how to deal with this entire mess either. The fight between Ziva and her father had probably been most unpleasant to witness and under normal circumstances, Ziva would have never allowed for it to get so out of hand while Tony and her lawyer had been present. But Eli's sudden appearance and his overbearing behavior had blindsided her and made her lose control.

"She's one fine lawyer, I'd say," Tony continued. "But that Henderson guy… let's say I wouldn't mind if he were in one of these cars that crash into a wall trying to avoid a collision with you."

Ziva ignored his comment on her driving skills and looked away from the swerving and honking cars around her to focus on Tony. "He's only doing his job, and I still appreciated your testimony," she told him because he seemed worried about that and he deserved to hear something nice.

Tony actually looked a little relieved. "I'm sorry he brought up the… ah… incident in your apartment."

Ziva didn't want to think about Michael and thankfully, she was spared the need to reply anything to that because she had to make a sharp turn to avoid a car crash.

"Ziva, stop! Stop!" Tony yelled.

"Don't be ridiculous, Tony," she said, shaking her head and only slowing down a bit. "I have everything under control." Well, _sort of_, she added mutely because it did seem that her reflexes had been affected by the emotional stress she was in.

"No, I'm not talking about your repeated attempts to get us both killed. But over there is the best place to get Indian food in the entire tri-state area and I'm starving," Tony explained and he gave her his trademark smile for the first time today.

But Ziva sighed. Part of her wanted to hit the brakes, get the Indian take-outs and drown her sorrow in Tony's company, but at the same time she knew that she couldn't. "Tony, I need some time alone tonight," she said because it was true.

There were so many emotions and memories which had been brought up during court today, but which she had been forced to lock up, not to mention her father… She needed time to deal with all that and she had to do that by herself. Still, it surprised Ziva how awful it made her feel to tell him that.

And Tony didn't look thrilled either, of course, but he seemed torn between disappointment and understanding. "What if I told you that I don't want you to be alone tonight?" he asked, eventually.

Ziva sighed. "Tony, this does not mean that I do not… appreciate what you're doing for me because I do. But it just has been a lot today."

"I know," he nodded and he was that serious, concerned and caring Tony again that she had so often been amazed by over the last couple of days. "But I want you to know that you can share that with me."

Again, Ziva was tempted, but she couldn't. These were mostly demons of her past and she wouldn't get Tony involved in them as well. He deserved a night off. "I already know that," she assured him, but her eyes told him that this didn't change her mind.

"Are you sure?" Tony asked one more time.

Ziva nodded and slowed down some more because they were almost at the Navy Lodge.

"Okay, but if you change your mind…"

"…I'll call you," Ziva concluded his sentence, smiling slightly.

Tony immediately picked up on that. "Yes, and this time _before_ you head off to the park please."

Ziva just rolled her eyes and stopped the car. They both got out and when Tony had slipped behind the wheel instead, Ziva turned around to enter her apartment building, but she heard Tony roll down the window.

"Ziva? For what it's worth, your father is an idiot for not realizing that he has one heck of a daughter."

Even though thinking of Eli made her sad, Ziva smiled, bent down and gave Tony another light kiss. "Good night, Tony."

He didn't drive off until she had vanished into her apartment.

Once she was sitting on her bed all alone, their faces came to haunt her: Eli, Ari, Michael, Tali… Ziva closed her eyes and tried to draw strength from the positive memories she still had of her little sister. She had always been resilient and very strong despite her young age. But then, she hadn't had much of a choice. It ran in the family.

Ziva had been like that as well – until Saleem had captured and tortured her. Now she felt mostly weak and was thoroughly sick of it – sick of being under Saleem's control or Eli's, sick of being betrayed by Ari or Michael. Ziva sighed and tried to push them aside, but they were a part of her.

They always would be.

* * *

><p>She noticed two things in court the next day. First, her father was still there and second, Tony was not. Ziva wasn't exactly sure which of the two bothered her more. But she didn't have much time to consider that question because she at least had to appear focused on the trial that was going on – trying to decide whether she was a murderer or not.<p>

Of course, if one posed the question as simple as that, the answer was just as clear. She had indeed killed numerous people in her life – a fact the DA didn't neglect to mention every time he opened his mouth. However, the irony of the situation was that almost all of her killings had been committed in cold blood, but she was being prosecuted for the only two that hadn't been, the two that had happened in the heat of the moment.

But Ziva trusted her lawyer to take care of that or at least she tried to. She found it rather difficult to concentrate today because she constantly felt her father's eyes on her or she thought she did, anyway. It was driving her crazy.

So in a way, Ziva was glad when she finally realized why he was here when Ms. Senate rose to her feet and said, "Defense is calling Director Eli David to the stand."

It still came as a shock, though. Eli was supposed to testify on her behalf? Ziva doubted there was much he could say that would help her and she resented the idea that he was trying to make amends this way for what had happened in Somalia. But first, he would have to avoid being torn apart by the DA, although as Director of Mossad he should be able to handle him.

Still, Eli knew things that would shock everyone in this courtroom. But perhaps that was exactly what Ms. Senate wanted. After all, her strategy had more to do with getting the members to sympathize with Ziva than caring about her privacy and those painful emotions she would prefer not to talk about in public.

Eli, however, didn't look worried at all once he had sworn to tell the truth and taken the stand. But since he rarely displayed any kind of emotions, that wasn't very surprising. At least now, Ziva could look at him directly, but she wasn't sure whether she really wanted to.

"Mr. David, you are Ziva David's father and the current Director of Mossad. Is that correct?" Ms. Senate began her line of questioning.

But she didn't get very far because Eli had only just confirmed this statement when the DA called, "Objection! Where's the relevance in Mr. David's testimony? He wasn't even on the same continent when the murder took place."

"First of all, prosecution has not yet proven that it indeed was murder," Ziva's attorney shot back, immediately, eyes focused on the judge. "And that is exactly the point. Prosecuting counsel is accusing my client of being a crazed killer. Director David can testify on her Mossad training and her state of mind when leaving the Mossad."

The judge nodded. "Overruled. You may continue."

"Thank you, Your Honor," Ms. Senate said and turned back towards Eli. "Director David, when did you begin your daughter's training?"

"From the day she was able to walk," he answered and it was impossible for Ziva not to look at him, but she was careful to mask her emotions.

"When she was old enough to actually join Mossad, which weapons were included in her training?"

"Every conventional weapon and several that are not," Eli replied a bit cryptic because he apparently wasn't willing to give away too many details concerning Mossad training. Ziva was willing to bet that that kind of behavior wouldn't exactly charm the jury.

Perhaps, her lawyer thought the same thing because she hurried on with the next question. "How was Ms. David trained to use these weapons?"

"In the most efficient and deadly manner."

"Did her training include handling a knife?" Ms. Senate asked just as quickly.

"Of course."

"How would Ms. David react then in the case of an attack if she had a knife with her?"

"My daughter has been an expert in handling a knife since she was sixteen years old. After all these years of training she would react instinctively, as any Mossad officer would, with deadly efficiency," her father replied, but his eyes were focused on Ziva, who finally thought that she understood what the point of this questioning was. It was supposed to explain why the dead men looked more like victims of a professional hit than self defense.

Apparently, Ms. Senate was confident that the jury had gotten that point as well because she moved on now. "In May, Ms. David returned to Mossad after working with NCIS for four years. On what kind of mission was she sent upon her return?"

Ziva clenched her teeth and felt her body tense at the mentioning of the very topic she and her father had argued about yesterday. Would he really answer that question?

"She was sent to infiltrate and terminate a terrorist training camp in North Africa," he indeed replied and at least he hadn't emphasized that her main objective had been to kill Saleem.

"Was that a standard kind of mission?" Ms. Senate asked innocently, even though she must have chosen her questions very carefully.

Eli hesitated for only a split-second. "No, it was a suicide mission," he then said and Ziva was torn between glaring at him and dropping her gaze.

"But Ms. David wasn't killed. Instead, she was held captive at the camp for almost four months, a fact of which you weren't aware?"

"No, I did not know that," Eli confirmed, emphasizing every word and this time Ziva did stare into his eyes. It looked like he had told the truth, but if anyone mastered the art of lying, it would be her father. And even if it were true, if he really hadn't known, he certainly hadn't put a lot effort into finding out what had happened. Still, there was a part of her that desperately wanted to believe him…

"Still, why did you send her? Why did you raise your daughter to be a Mossad operative who would have to put her life on the line?" Ms. Senate asked in a tone that indicated that his was her final question, but Ziva couldn't help wondering why she would ask this question at all and whether this was more for the benefit of their father-daughter relationship than the case at hand.

Sure enough, Eli looked directly at Ziva when he answered, "Because I hope that this way there will come the day when fathers won't have to make that decision anymore, when they will feel safe enough in their own country to allow their children to grow up to become doctors or lawyers, and that this might already be the case for my own grandchildren."

Ms. Senate thanked him and smiled when she sat down again. But Ziva wasn't sure what she was feeling and she was so busy trying to figure that out that she barely listened to the DA's attempts to get Eli to admit that Ziva with all her training should have been so superior that there would have been no need to kill the two men. But her father wouldn't budge an inch.

All of that left Ziva in a state of confusion and so she was quite thankful when the judge finally announced that they were in recess until tomorrow. The courtroom emptied fairly quickly, but Ziva remained seated as well as her lawyer who was still busy taking some notes. When her father approached her, Ziva suddenly understood why Ms. Senate was so interested in looking busy.

Eli looked at her and sighed. "I wish I could have been one of those fathers who drive their children to jujutsu lessons and cheer for them at show jumping competitions. But I had to make a decision – the decision to do what was necessary to serve my country. If you choose to resent me for that decision, I will accept that. But I want you to know that nothing worries me as much as the possibility that this job might claim you as the final sacrifice."

Ziva locked eyes with her father, but she was still torn. Part of her was kicking and screaming inside and wanted to yell at him that there would have been no need for his marriage to end, for his oldest son and youngest daughter to die and for her to be tortured for months until she would have gladly embraced her siblings' fate. There would have been no need for him to make all these sacrifices if he hadn't decided to be such a lousy husband and father.

But a more sober part of her realized that this was just the way he was. Eli David was a man who felt the duty to serve his country above all else and in a weird way, he actually thought that he was doing this not only for the good of his people, but his family as well. Of course, there was no use in securing a better future for his grandchildren if none of his children actually lived to ever have children of their own. But Ziva knew he had never wanted them to die. He had loved them in his own way and he still did. And that was all she would ever get from him.

Before Ziva could decide how to respond, however, Officer Amit Hadar approached them. She hadn't even noticed him before, but she should have known that he was there. Her father wouldn't be travelling alone. Hadar had a grim expression on his face and when he bent down a little to talk to Eli, her father immediately mirrored his expression.

And Ziva knew what that meant. Something had happened. Something that required the immediate attention of the Director of Mossad. And he would leave her as he had always done. But he had also travelled all the way to the US and testified on her behalf. He hadn't done that before. And to his credit, Eli did look reluctant when he turned his attention back towards her.

"You should go," Ziva told him before he could say anything. "I will call you when the trial is over."

Eli looked positively surprised and part of her shared the sentiment. But he was her father, after all, and no matter how childish or pathetic that was, Ziva wanted the love he was capable of giving her, even if it wasn't much. And what was even more important, she didn't want to hate anymore. She had enough trouble dealing with that as it was. She was glad she could at least let go of a part of it.

Her father kissed her on both cheeks again and held her face in his hands for a few seconds longer. "Take care, my daughter," he then said and left, Officer Hadar following right behind him.

Ziva watched them leave and tried to file this away as the past – just as she had done with Tali's death and then Ari's and Michael's. If she was allowed to stay in America for good, perhaps this would have finally been the last of it.

After a few minutes, her lawyer cleared her throat and thereby reminded Ziva that she was still there. She turned around and saw Ms. Senate smiling kindly at her. "Your father's testimony was very good for us. Together with your testimony tomorrow this should be more than enough to get an acquittal. Would you like me to go through the questions with you again?"

Ziva shook her head. She did not want to talk about it and she was still wishing there would be a way around it tomorrow. But there wasn't and she thanked her lawyer before leaving the courtroom as well. When she sat in her car and started driving aimlessly, she suddenly realized what it was that she wanted right now.

She pushed down the gas pedal as far as it would go and headed for the apartment of one Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.


	10. Chapter 10

When Ziva arrived at Tony's apartment, she knocked on the door twice. But when he didn't open up, she lost her patience, and after glancing over her shoulder and finding that no one else was around, she picked his lock.

It was unusually quiet in the apartment (not even the TV was on) and for a second, Ziva wondered whether Tony might actually not be here. But then she heard something that sounded suspiciously like snoring. She moved further into the apartment and spotted Tony lying on the couch – sound asleep.

Ziva's initial reaction to this discovery was anger, but she quickly tried to suppress it and remind herself that she had been the one to push him away in the first place. So she could hardly blame him for not showing up in court today, or could she? Somehow, it worsened her feelings of abandonment, although Tony, unlike her father, had done everything for her, including risking his own life and trying to help her get through these difficult weeks and months.

Perhaps that was why Ziva was so shocked to find him asleep now – as if he had suddenly stopped caring. She felt how much that possibility scared her, but she tried to subdue that emotion as well. If she really wanted to get past all these fears and weaknesses, she had to start acting accordingly.

A malicious grin spread across Ziva's face when she had an idea. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from Tony's fridge. Then she returned into the living room to stand next to the sofa again and emptied the bottle's wet contents into Tony's ear – just as she had done when they had been undercover together.

For a split second, Ziva found herself wishing they were back in that hotel room, but then Tony started yelling and jerking his head, trying to escape from the cold shower and he was on his feet in no time.

"Ziva?" He blinked several times and ruffled his wet hair. "Jeez, for someone who grew up in a desert, you have a shocking lack of respect for water! I bet you flunked right through your 'how not to waste precious resources 101' class."

Ziva couldn't help smiling a little because he looked really cute with the water running down his face. "But it works every time – only last time you were only wearing boxers," she said.

The same amusement and longing crossed Tony's face at the memory, but the current situation apparently rooted him in the here and now. "But what are you doing here, Ziva? Don't tell me you went UA from court!"

"No, court is already in recess until tomorrow," Ziva replied, trying not to sound too accusatory.

But it wasn't necessary, anyway. Tony looked guilty immediately. "Ah, crap! I'm sorry I wasn't there. There was another dead sailor this morning and McSensitive chose today of all days to call in sick so Gibbs had no choice but to drag my ass back to work. When he would finally let me go, I just came here for a quick stop, but I guess I must have dozed off…"

When Ziva heard his explanation, her anger immediately vaporized and was replaced by guilt. She knew Tony was telling the truth – he had wanted to be there, but he had been too tired – and Ziva also knew that she herself was the reason for his lack of sleep.

"So, uh, how was it in court today?" Tony asked, breaking the silence.

Ziva shrugged. "Ms. Senate seemed pleased afterwards."

"Hey, that's good!" Tony replied with much more enthusiasm than she had been able to muster. He noticed that, too, apparently. "Was your father there?"

"Yes, he was there to testify on my behalf."

Tony's brows furrowed. "Wow, how did that go? Did he leave the stand to lunge at that Henderson guy?"

"Tony, Eli might not know how to be a father, but he is Director of Mossad for a reason. The DA was unable to trick him into giving the answers he wanted to hear."

Tony didn't stop frowning, though. "But judging from your first comment, you two haven't made up?"

Ziva gave a noncommittal jerk of the head. "I did not come here to talk about my father."

"Then why did you come here?" Tony asked. "Certainly not to check on my water supplies."

"I wanted to know why you weren't in court," Ziva shot back because she didn't appreciate his sarcasm and had no idea what else to say. Why had she come here if she didn't want to talk about what had happened in court or between her and Eli?

Tony sighed. "I already apologized for that and I would do it again, but you know, breaking the rule twice within an hour seems like tempting fate. But I promise I'll be there tomorrow." He smiled encouragingly, but it didn't have any effect on Ziva.

"I'm not sure I will," she said quietly.

"What?" Tony stared at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm supposed to testify tomorrow morning."

Understanding dawned on Tony's face, but that only highlighted the disbelief in his eyes. "I see, but I thought we already talked about this. You promised you'd do it."

Ziva put down the almost empty bottle of water to avoid looking into his eyes. "No, actually, I only said I would talk to my attorney, not to a courtroom filled with people."

Tony knocked the water bottle off the table so that its remaining contents wetted the carpet. "Ziva, you can't just decide not to show up tomorrow! They will lock you away for the rest of the trial and your life! You were lucky that you weren't considered a flight risk in the first place!"

She understood his frustration – or at least Ziva thought she did – but she didn't know what else to say.

"Dammit, Ziva! What's the problem?" Tony went on. "Is it the talking about it part? I know it's hard, but you already talked to me and to your lawyer. That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Now it was Ziva's turn to look incredulous. "I ended up crying like a scared, little girl on both occasions!"

"So what? I thought the jury was supposed to see that you do have feelings. Don't you see that this is your father's fault all over again?" Tony looked at her and when he continued, he grabbed her shoulders, and there were no more signs of anger, his voice sounding concerned and almost pleading instead.

"Don't let him increase the pain you're dealing with by clinging to some stupid rules he taught you. No matter what he raised you to believe, it's okay to show your feelings, especially after what you've been through."

Ziva looked into his eyes and was once again amazed by this obvious proof of how much Tony cared for her and how well he knew her. They had been through a lot together over the years, but this was different. It felt like they had gone beyond what had been between them before, like she had realized only now what Tony was truly capable of. And suddenly Ziva knew that she had come here tonight because she didn't want to miss that anymore.

"Ziva?" Tony asked now because she still hadn't said anything. "What can I do to make this easier for you?"

She didn't think. She just did what she had wanted to do for a long time now and what she felt was the answer to his question. She grabbed his face with both hands and pulled it towards her to kiss him – but not as softly as she had done over the last couple of days as a means of thanking him for caring about her.

This time, Ziva _really _kissed him, let go of all those other painful emotions and only focused on how much she wanted to be with him. And although that longing had certainly been intensified by Tony's cute behavior of late, it had been there long before any of this had happened, and all of that pent-up passion was there in her kiss now.

Tony reacted to it instinctively, his mouth opening eagerly and his tongue beginning to duel with hers, but when the kiss got even more intense and began to arouse the promise of something more, he pulled away a little.

"Ziva…" he panted, a tense call for restraint that carried numerous doubts and questions with it, while at the same time his eyes were burning with desire.

"Tony," she whispered, her breathing irregular as well, "… shut up!" And she made sure of that herself by covering his lips with her mouth again and pressing her body to his in a way that made it absolutely clear what she wanted from him. Ziva didn't want to talk. She didn't want to think. She only wanted to love this man right here and right now.

And when her hands slid off his jacket and loosened his tie before travelling downwards towards his waistband, Tony stopped hesitating. He buried his hands in her hair and started placing kisses along her jaw line and down her neck while his hips started grinding against hers.

Ziva moaned and gave into his touch and into the passion that had sparked between them ever since she had first met him in the squad room at NCIS. And for the first time in over four months, Ziva could let go of her conflicting emotions for the men in her life – her father, Michael and of course Tony – and of all the pain and death that had been in her heart ever since she had been captured by Saleem's men.

Tonight, her world exploded again, not in pain, but in passion and love.

* * *

><p>When Tony woke up again the next morning, he felt disoriented at first, but the feeling passed rather quickly. Waking up with his naked body entangled in the sheets of his messy bed was a situation he was quite comfortable with, after all. Although he had to admit that lately it hadn't happened as often as it had once used to. But Tony still remembered that he hadn't woken up alone on those occasions.<p>

This morning, however, the beautiful Israeli woman, who happened to be the reason for the increasing absence of other women in his life, was suspiciously absent from his bed. Once that realization had really sunken in and his sleepiness had faded, Tony sat bolt upright in bed.

"Ziva?" he called, but he didn't get an answer, just as he had been afraid of.

Cursing under his breath, Tony put his boxers back on and checked the rest of his apartment even though he already knew that he wouldn't find her. Dammit! This was exactly what he had been afraid of. Well, actually, he wasn't sure what exactly he had been afraid of because their conversation from the other day had totally been blocked out by the incredible night they had spent together.

It had been everything Tony had ever imagined it to be and more (and after their undercover assignment as married assassins his expectations had been quite high). But none of that would do him any good if Ziva had woken up this morning thinking that he had taken advantage of her weak emotional state.

Right, that was it. That was what Tony had been afraid of when he had made that pathetic attempt to stop this from happening. If he had been able to produce coherent sentences, he would have told her that this was probably not the right time because she wasn't quite herself right now and might not really want this. But Ziva hadn't given him the chance to say any of these things because when she had kissed him like that… well, he was just a man, after all.

Of course, that excuse wouldn't help him much if he caught up with Ziva later in court. Tony suddenly paused and glanced at his watch. They (or Ziva, in any case) were supposed to show up in court in little over thirty minutes!

That realization came as a relief at first. Surely, Ziva had left only to be there on time, or hadn't she? Tony's relief quickly turned into panic when he remembered that they had never actually finished that argument about Ziva's reluctance to testify in court today. What if she was not on her way to court, but had actually gone UA?

Tony fumbled for his cell phone and pressed speed dial. He wasn't surprised when he was routed straight to voicemail. "Ziva, I know we never finished arguing about this, but I want you to know that if you don't show up in court today, I will personally kick your sexy ass back to Israel! You hear me? No, of course, you don't… ah, crap…"

He hung up and fumed over his helplessness for a while. When he had calmed down again, he already began to regret the message he had left Ziva. 'Kick her ass back to Israel'? They both knew that he would rather watch 'Little House on the Prairie' reruns for an entire day than send her back to Israel and back to Eli David.

But there was nothing Tony could do about that now. He could only get to court as fast as possible and hope that Ziva was there. And so he did. While he was driving, he called Abby down in her lab on the Navy Yard.

"Hey Abs, it's me. I'm on my way to court so I won't be able to show up for work and since McFlu is still playing hooky, Gibbs won't be too happy about that. So I thought, perhaps you could tell him because you know you're the only one who he won't kill…"

"_Oh, hey Tony, don't worry,"_ Abby's cheerful voice replied. _"I have everything under control. I'm already working on a plan how to persuade Gibbs that we should all ditch work today and go to court instead. I mean, today's the day, right?"_

Tony wasn't sure whether she was referring to Ziva's testimony or the delivery of the verdict, but he just said, "I guess so."

"_Alright, then Team Ziva will be there!"_

"Team Ziva?" Tony repeated, smiling for the first time today which was absurd since he should have been smiling all day long after such an amazing night.

"_Yes, I didn't have the time to come up with a real catchy name yet, so I decided to stick with the classics. Anyway, I'll see you later in court."_

Tony stuffed away his phone and stopped the car. A glance at his watch told him that he had to hurry up if he didn't want to be late. He ran all the way from the parking lot to the courtroom, but of course, he still rushed in late. When he spotted Ziva sitting right next to her attorney, as she was supposed to, Tony didn't care about the angry look from the judge, however, and dropped onto a bench to catch his breath again.

When Ms. Senate announced that Ziva would take the stand now, Tony thought he could actually feel the tension in the air. Everybody in the room knew that this was it. That wouldn't exactly make it any easier for Ziva, of course. When she rose to her feet to take the oath, she had to turn towards the rest of the courtroom.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?" the DA asked her.

Ziva's eyes found Tony's and though they were as fathomless as always, he tried to give her an encouraging nod. "I do," she said.

Once she had taken the stand, Ms. Senate stood as well. "Ms. David, could you please tell us what happened that night in Rock Creek Park?"

"I was running through the park when I met the two men. They harassed me and tried to rape me. I defended myself with the knife I had taken with me," Ziva replied matter-of-factly. So far, so good.

"May I ask why you had a knife with you?" Ms. Senate continued.

Ziva nodded. "It is Special Agent Gibbs' rule nr. 9. Never go anywhere without a knife."

Tony smiled. That was clever – presenting it as a NCIS rule rather than a Mossad habit.

"And you had never before seen the two men that attacked you?"

"No," Ziva replied succinctly, but added, "It was my first run through the park after the couple of months I wasn't in D.C."

Her attorney nodded, pleased with that clarification. "But why were you taking a run at such a late hour?"

Tony tensed. This was the tricky part. "Because I couldn't sleep," Ziva answered, trying to hide her reluctance, but Tony noticed it, of course.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" Ms. Senate insisted.

Ziva obviously hesitated with her answer. "I experienced difficulties with that ever since I returned from my last Mossad operation."

"You are referring to the one where you were held captive in a terrorist camp?"

"Yes."

"Were you exposed to any kind of torture during the months of your captivity?" Ms. Senate asked and Tony was immensely grateful that she had obviously decided to phrase this as a yes/no question instead of asking Ziva to elaborate on that.

Nevertheless, Tony could see how Ziva clenched her teeth. "Yes, I was."

"For how long?"

"Almost four months," Ziva replied and that haunted look was back in her eyes, but otherwise she seemed alright.

"Did you have the chance to talk about that with someone, to deal with it, before the night in the park?"

Ziva glanced at Tony. "No, I did not."

"How did these recent experiences affect your encounter with the deceased?"

"I reacted instinctively by doing what I had not been able to do for the last four months… I stopped them from hurting me." Her voice was beginning so sound fragile now.

"How did that make you feel?" Ms. Senate asked gently, having heard that as well.

Ziva looked vaguely into the direction of the jury. "Ever since I returned from Somalia, I've felt weak and… not safe. But I am sorry that they are dead. It was not my intention to kill them."

Tony was stunned. Ziva had actually answered all the questions and managed to present herself as exactly the kind of tormented and victimized kind of woman she had been supposed to. But what really shocked him was that it hadn't seemed like an act to him. His once crazy Ninja chick was not as bold and confident anymore as she always liked to pretend and a fresh wave of hatred towards Saleem for doing this to her overwhelmed him.

But the worst part hadn't even begun just yet – the cross-examination by the DA. When Henderson rose to his feet, Tony felt the sudden urge to drag Ziva out of here immediately, which was stupid, of course. Ziva had always been able to take care of herself. But now Tony wasn't so sure about that anymore.

"Ms. David, how many weapons did you have to surrender at the security checkpoint this morning?" Henderson asked his first question.

Tony moaned. _Oh no, Ziva, don't say it…_

"Three," she replied, however.

Henderson feigned surprise. "Did you expect an attack here in court?"

"I always carry three weapons with me," Ziva said truthfully.

"Oh, so already prior to the torture you had to endure and your heightened need for security afterwards?"

"Yes," Ziva replied because she had no choice.

The DA nodded. "Yes, it is a habit from your days with the Mossad, is it not? Since you always had to be prepared to kill someone…"

"I am no longer with the Mossad," Ziva shot back, evading the question.

But Henderson didn't seem to mind. "No, you are not, because your father dumped you in a terrorist camp. That must have been a difficult experience for you, or wasn't it?"

Tony couldn't believe that Ms. Senate didn't object to the way that guy was talking to Ziva, but then, it was probably supposed to be like that in a cross-examination. Still, Tony would have preferred to _dump_ that guy someplace very unpleasant.

"Director David did what his duty asked of him," Ziva replied, again not really answering the question, although the way she spoke of her father kind of betrayed what she was feeling.

Henderson picked up on that, too. "Yes, we heard his testimony. But do you agree that the duty to his country was more important than saving his daughter from a suicide mission?"

"I understand why he made that decision…"

"That's not what I asked. I asked whether you agree with it."

Ziva looked like Henderson was lucky that she had been forced to hand over her weapons or he would be lying dead on the floor now. And in a way, Tony was relieved to see the old Ziva again. "No, I do not," she hissed.

"Then you must have been pretty angry when you returned to Washington after NCIS had rescued you – so angry, perhaps, that you went into the park and killed those two men of whom you thought that no one would miss them!"

"No, I did not intend to kill them…"

"No? Then why did you drive your knife directly into their hearts? I'm sure your Mossad training would have allowed for different ways to get rid off two drunk sex offenders."

"I killed them because they attacked me and because I could!" Ziva suddenly yelled. "There is only one man I would love to bring back from the dead so that I actually could murder him and that is Saleem Ulman. But I cannot do that and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. And so would have these two men if they hadn't decided to attack me and follow in his footsteps."

Ziva's sudden outburst was followed by a shocked silence. Tony was surprised as well, not by the content of her words, however, because she had basically already told him that, but by the obvious hatred and anger that was still inside her. Because the only other time he had heard Ziva yell as angrily as this had been during their argument about Rivkin's death.

But Henderson of course recovered pretty quickly. "So you do admit that you decided to kill the deceased in Mr. Ulman's stead?"

Tony couldn't believe this guy. He was very close to jumping to his feet and telling him to back the hell off, but thankfully, Ziva had found her composure again. "No, I made no decision of any kind that night. I defended myself when I was attacked. Due to… recent events I was unable to control the way I defended myself and for that I am sorry."

Henderson looked at Ziva and hesitated, but finally he said the words Tony had been longing to hear. "No more questions."

The judge nodded. "You may step down," he told Ziva and Tony sighed in relief. It was over. And she had neither broken down crying nor killed anyone – at least not yet.

Once Ziva had left the stand, Ms. Senate announced that she had no more witnesses, whereupon the judge ordered a short break before closing arguments would be presented. Tony rose to his feet and ignoring everybody else who started leaving the courtroom, he headed towards Ziva.

"Hey," he said when he head reached her and gently placed a hand on her arm.

Ziva winced and made a movement as if to grab his arm and rip it off, but then (thankfully) decided otherwise.

"Sorry," Tony said, obviously having underestimated how upset she was now. "Well, you were the first one who made that Henderson guy shut up so I'd say it went quite well," he joked, hoping to calm her down a bit.

Ziva looked at him, but before she could say anything, a familiar voice called her name from behind them and a certain forensic specialist rushed past Tony to give Ziva a fierce hug.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: The verdict is coming up in the next chapter and it might just be the last one – but I can't say for sure because my muse will make the final decision on that. Still, please review while you still can, and as always, thanks to all of you who reviewed, read and enjoyed the last chapters!<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Right, this is it. The final chapter. It actually makes me kind of sad because I enjoyed writing this story – every new chapter was a surprise for me as well. But anyway, I hope you like the way it turned out and one last time thank you so very much for reading, reviewing and first and foremost, enjoying this story!

* * *

><p>"Ziva! Did we miss it? How are you? No, scratch that. Stupid question. You must feel awful, of course! But don't worry. Everything's under control. Right, guys? Right. Anyway, I…"<p>

"Abigail, my dear girl, why don't you take a breath and allow Ziva to do the same?" Ducky interrupted Abby's rambling and gently pulled her back a little to allow Ziva some space.

Ziva gradually overcame her surprise and even smiled a little. "Thank you," she said softly. "To both of you."

Abby beamed at her. "Timmy wanted to be here as well, but he can't even stand on his own two feet right now. Oh, and Gibbs was held back by Vance just when I was about to drag him into the elevator, but he told me to give you a hug."

Tony frowned in disbelief. "You sure you heard that right, Abs?"

"Well, perhaps that weren't his exact words, but it's what he meant to say, anyway," Abby replied and although the Goth was pretty much always as cheerful as this, Tony was still surprised by her seeming lack of anxiety. He envied her a little.

And his envy only got worse. Tony was glad that Abby and Ducky had come because it seemed to mean a lot to Ziva that they all wanted to support her. But Abby was so busy giving Ziva hugs from McGee and Gibbs and even from the autopsy gremlin that Tony had no chance to talk to her himself, not alone, anyway.

Abby even accompanied Ziva when she went to the ladies' room. But that was probably a good thing because if Tony had followed her in there in a building full of female lawyers and judges who could all drag his ass to court, that might have been unpleasant.

Finally, the recess was over and it was time for the closing arguments. On the one hand, Tony was beyond grateful for that because it meant that this whole disaster was almost over and that this was the last time that Ziva had to listen to other people talking about her. But on the other, it scared the hell out of him because it also meant that the verdict was close.

Tony was only able to remain seated here because he knew that the death penalty was not an option, although, knowing Ziva, she probably would have preferred that to life imprisonment. Tony shook his head. Neither one of them was acceptable, not even a year in prison would be acceptable – not for Ziva.

He couldn't even stand the thought of it. Even when she had still been his crazy ninja chick, she had probably been more afraid of being locked up than she had been of dying. But now, after everything that had happened, putting Ziva in prison would be like throwing her back into that hell pit, at the mercy of Saleem and his men.

No, he wouldn't allow it. And Tony found himself contemplating something he'd thought he would never ever do – calling Director Eli David. But if worst came to worst, Tony would even accept the help of their Israeli 'friends'. Better Ziva was back in Israel than locked up here in America…

Tony sighed. He was getting way ahead of himself here. He had to stop making up horror scenarios and start listening instead. So far, Ms. Senate had handled this case very well and before he decided to ask the devil for help, he should rather trust her and the legal system she represented.

But it was Henderson's turn first. "Ms. Ziva David is a former Mossad officer. Her own father testified that she played with knives instead of dolls and mastered a whole arsenal of weapons before she could even drive a car. When she grew up, it was her job to kill people. And even though Ms. David left the Mossad, surely what is said about Marines is true for Mossad officers as well. They do not forget their training.

Proof of that are the two dead bodies which were found in Rock Creek Park, both killed with the precision of a professional assassin – like Ms. David. She testified herself that she had recently been tortured and is now driven by the need for revenge. So she went to the Park that night and did what she was trained to do – she made the kill."

Henderson sat down again and Tony was yet again amazed by how much he wanted to hit that guy. Thankfully, Ms. Senate rose to her feet now and slowly walked towards the jury, looking absolutely confident.

"Is Ms. Ziva David a former Mossad operative? Yes. Was she part of the Kidon unit that allegedly specializes in assassinations? Yes. But is that what she has been doing for the last four years? No. Ms. David left the Mossad and works for NCIS instead. All of her team members, including her superior Special Agent Gibbs, testified on her outstanding courage, decency and loyalty.

During her brief return to Mossad she was captured while trying to destroy a terrorist training camp and was then tortured for several months. Dr. Mallard testified on the psychological consequences of such a traumatizing experience. So when Ms. David was attacked in Rock Creek Park, she did not do what her Mossad training told her to do. She did what every woman would have done – she defended herself, her sanity and her life, which her NCIS team members had only just saved at their own personal risk.

Ms. David did not kill intentionally that night. She killed those men because she was lucky enough to be able to defend herself against the horrors of sexual assault." Ms. Senate walked back towards her seat and Tony thought she had got her message across – at least as far as the female Jurors were concerned.

But all they could do now that the jurors left to make their decision was hope for the best.

Ms. Senate assured them once again that she was confident that they would get an acquittal because, if nothing else, there was more than enough reasonable doubt when it came to intent. Afterwards, she politely excused herself for which Tony couldn't blame her since Abby was still every bit as hyperactive as she had been before.

"Well, you heard the lady. Now, who wants to get something to eat? My treat," she offered as if it were already decided that they had something to celebrate.

Ziva shook her head. "Thank you, but I am not hungry."

That at least caught Abby's attention. "But I told you not to worry, Ziva. We have a plan B in case the jury goes bonkers."

"We do?" Tony asked, thinking of his unfinished plans of staging a prison breakout.

"Yah!" Abby replied as if that was totally obvious. "Ms. Senate will appeal, of course, and I will frame that Henderson guy for murder like Chip tried to frame you, Tony. But since I am twice the forensic specialist he was, no one will notice this time. Then no one will believe anything Henderson has ever said and Ziva will be set free."

Ziva, Tony and Ducky all stared at her for a while. Finally, it was the latter who said, "Come on, my dear girl, let's find you one of those Caf-Pows."

"But I already had five of them today, Ducky," Abby told him.

"Yes, I noticed. Then perhaps a decaf…" He continued to lead Abby gently down the corridor, giving Tony a curt nod before they disappeared. Apparently, Ducky had not missed the looks that had passed between Tony and Ziva ever since Ducky and Abby had joined them. Tony made a mental note to thank the Scottish ME later.

But before Tony had actually decided what it was that he wanted to say, Ziva turned towards him. "Tony," she said quietly. "If I get convicted, I do not want you to do anything stupid like… punching the DA in the face, yes?"

"I don't know. I might do that even if the verdict's not guilty," Tony replied because it was true and because he hoped it might make her smile a little.

But it didn't. Ziva looked deadly serious. "Why do you insist on risking your entire career as if it were not important to you? But I know it is, which is way I do not understand. You have to stop doing this, Tony."

Realizing that this was a serious conversation, Tony stopped kidding around and just told her the truth. "I already told you when we were in Tel-Aviv, Ziva. I only do that for you and I always will."

Ziva looked at him and her gorgeous, brown eyes almost seemed to spill over with emotion. "I know," she finally just said.

Tony was trying to decide whether to say more or to kiss her already when another voice interrupted them.

"Hey, you two busy with something?" Ziva and Tony both winced and spun around.

"Uh, hey, Boss!" Tony called, trying not to look guilty.

Ziva, however, seemed to even brighten up a bit. "Gibbs! Abby said the Director kept you."

"Well, I'm here now."

"Great, we were just waiting for the jury to announce the verdict," Tony told him.

Gibbs nodded. "DiNozzo."

"Yes, Boss?"

"Get me some coffee."

Tony hesitated for a few seconds because he didn't like being sent away like Abby had been (without her noticing, though). But he didn't have much of a choice really and since Ziva looked happy to see Gibbs (compared to the way she had looked before, anyway) he sighed and nodded.

"On it, Boss," he said, but while he walked away to go looking for a vending machine, Tony couldn't help wondering where that conversation would have led them if Gibbs hadn't shown up.

* * *

><p>"Thank you for coming, Gibbs," Ziva said because she really was glad to see him. She knew it was pathetic, but somehow it made her feel as if Gibbs would be there for her even if Eli was not.<p>

Gibbs shook his head. "No need to thank me, Ziva."

"No, there is," she insisted. "But I feel that it is even more important that I apologize to you. I know you must be… disappointed in me and what I did…"

Gibbs put a finger on her lips to make her stop. "You didn't disappoint me, Ziva. I might have preferred it if you'd come to talk to me instead of going off to the park… But if anyone else had to endure what you've been through, they wouldn't even be here right now."

"No, because they wouldn't have just lost control and killed someone. But I did because I was too weak to…"

"Hey!" Gibbs interrupted her and Ziva winced, looking up at him in surprise, "you are not weak, Ziva. No matter what's going to happen in there, don't you ever believe that, okay?"

Ziva only nodded because she didn't know what to say. But she felt like a last piece inside her had finally been put back into place. Perhaps she had failed to get Eli's approval, but Gibbs accepted her the way she was – even now.

When Tony returned, together with Abby and Ducky, she felt the support from all of them and it made her strong enough to go back into the courtroom, although she could only mask her anxiety, not suppress it completely. But Ziva realized that she wasn't worried about herself, rather about what the others would do if she was declared guilty.

The judge looked impassive when he addressed her. "Ms. David, will you and your counsel please rise?"

They did as they were told and Ziva stared straight ahead, trying to ignore all the eyes she felt on her, but especially Gibbs' and Tony's even though she would have liked to look at them very much.

The judge turned towards the jury. "You may publish your findings."

A middle-aged guy rose to his feet and he looked a little nervous, too. Ziva had just enough time to think that, hopefully, he wasn't nervous because he was sending her off to prison, before he began to speak.

"Ms. Ziva David, on the charge and specification of premeditated murder this court finds you… not guilty."

The juror sat down again and the judge reached for his gavel. "This court is adjourned," he announced matter-of-factly.

Ziva was left standing there, unable to believe that this was it. The quick uttering of a few little words after all the fuss that had been made in this courtroom before and now it was all over. People started leaving the courtroom already. No one cared about her anymore, now that there would be no sentencing, no appeal – now that she was free.

Well, perhaps it wasn't exactly no one.

"Congratulations, Ms. David," Ms. Senate was the first to say and offered Ziva her hand and a smile.

Ziva took her proffered hand and although she was still a bit dazed, she felt that she was smiling, too. "Thank you… for everything."

"You're welcome," her attorney replied.

And that was the end of their conversation because Abby was back to hug her again. "I knew it! I knew we wouldn't need Plan B, which is good because Gibbs didn't really like it, not that this would have stopped me from doing it, but anyway…"

"Abigail…"

"I know, Ducky, taking a breath," Abby said while stepping away from Ziva. "But I've been doing that since the day I was born so there's really no point in reminding me…"

"That was not my intention, my dear. But there are others who would like a moment with our soon to be _Agent_ David and you are hogging her attention, so to speak," Ducky replied, but he smiled kindly at both women.

Ziva allowed him to hug her as well, but she still felt a little like being on autopilot when she thanked him again for coming.

"Ah, don't mention it, Ziva, and if you ever feel like coming down and having a cup of tea, my door is always open."

"Thank you, Ducky," she said earnestly this time.

Gibbs was next. He locked eyes with her first. "You okay now?" he asked.

"I think I am… getting there," Ziva replied carefully.

He nodded and kissed her on the cheek. "Well, you know where to find me if you need something stronger than tea."

"I do," Ziva confirmed and hoped that Gibbs could see in her eyes how much his mere presence here today had meant to her.

Judging from the look on his face, he did, but Ducky pulled his attention away from her, telling him that he had yet to taste Scottish tea before he could judge it.

That left only Tony.

"Shoot, I left the champagne in the car," he joked when her eyes fell on him. "Would you mind accompanying me while I go get it?"

Ziva knew he only wanted to talk to her outside of this courtroom since the rest of their team was still standing close by. So she nodded and tried to steel herself for what was about to come.

They had only just left the courtroom when Ziva stopped. "Tony." He realized that she wasn't next to him anymore and turned around to look at her. "It's alright. You don't have to do this."

"What? Getting the champagne? That's good because that was actually code for let's go make out in the backseat of my car." Apparently, the old Tony had returned even sooner than she had anticipated.

Still, Ziva said, "I'm serious, Tony. You're off the hook. The impending catastrophe has been averted. I am not going to prison."

"It sounds like your speaking English, but strangely, I don't understand a word of it," Tony replied and he actually looked a little confused.

Ziva sighed. He was already beginning to get on her nerves again. "I think you do, but if you want to pretend otherwise – fine. All I wanted to tell you is that you can stop doing… what you have been doing the last couple of days. Since you also got the sex with me you always wanted, I guess we're even, too."

She was about to turn around, but Tony wouldn't let her. "What?" he called and the shocked look on his face did seem too real even for his acting skills. "Now, wait a minute! I didn't do all of this only to keep you out of prison! Well, no, actually I did, of course, but… that wasn't the only reason. Plus, _you_ were the one who started ripping my clothes off the other night if I may remind you, Zee-vah!"

"So?" Ziva asked.

"So?" Tony stared at her, his eyes honest and open wide. "So the reason I did all of this – from knocking on your door with Chinese take-outs to almost getting a heart attack waiting for the verdict in court today – is because I love you, Ziva, even though that apparently will reduce my life expectancy by a couple of years."

Now, Ziva stared right back at him. She hadn't expected him to say _that_. So all she could reply at first was, "You… love me?"

"Damn right, I do. I know not many people have said that to you in your life so far which in itself is proof that you didn't have the life you deserve because I mean, look at you. You're a gorgeous, smart and funny (albeit, not always intentionally) kick-ass kind of woman and every man who spends some time with you and does not fall in love with you is a complete idiot."

Ziva opened her mouth and closed it again so Tony went right on, "Why do you keep looking at me like that? And why the hell did you think I would stop caring only because you were found not guilty? Because I have a newsflash for you, Ziva, I _do_ care about you. And after going to Somalia to safe you, there's nothing you could do to me that would make me go away."

There was a short pause. Then Tony sounded much calmer and a little subdued. "Unless of course, you really don't want me."

Suddenly he looked like a dog that had been abandoned at the roadside and Ziva couldn't help herself. She hurried to close the distance between them, took his face in her hands and kissed him.

"I am sorry, Tony. I just assumed that you would go away again because good things usually do not tend to… stick with me for long. But I should have known better. I should have known you. You gave me absolutely no reason to doubt you. But I guess it was a force of habit. The people I love have always left me at some point."

Tony's eyes lit up when she said that last part and he gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "But I already told you, Ziva. I won't go anywhere." They smiled at each other and their lips met eagerly for another kiss.

But they were interrupted once more when somebody cleared their throat behind them. They separated quickly and Ziva thought she might die on the spot when she saw who it was.

"Director Vance?"

Vance had his usual poker face on. "I assume there's cause for celebration?" he asked.

"I was found not guilty," Ziva nodded.

"Good, then your suspension is lifted and I expect to see you back at work in a few days. Use that time to find a new apartment. Your stay at the Navy Lodge was supposed to be of a transitory nature, after all."

"Yes, Director. Thank you. I will take care of it."

Vance pulled another toothpick from his pocket and started chewing on it. "Where's Gibbs?" he asked.

"In there," Tony replied and pointed at the courtroom.

The Director walked past them, but stopped once more. "Oh, and I don't want to see any more stunts like this one, _Agent_ David!"

"Yes, Director."

Vance disappeared into the courtroom and Tony and Ziva looked at each other, stunned. "Okay, moving on," Tony finally said and kissed her. When their kiss came to a natural close, he said, "So, seems like you need a place to stay."

"It does," Ziva nodded, though that was nothing new of course. But looking for a new apartment had been pretty much last on her to-do list for the last couple of days.

Tony seemed pretty enthusiastic about it, though. "Well, until you find a new apartment, you could just dump your stuff at my place."

"Thanks, but I don't really have any 'stuff'. Everything I had was blown to pieces with the rest of my apartment," Ziva reminded him, a trace of regret in her voice. Back when all of this had started, she had told Gibbs that it hadn't been her real home, anyway. But she had been very upset at the time. Now, she did wish that she had been able to save some of her personal belongings.

"Right," Tony said, although Ziva was pretty sure that he hadn't actually needed the reminder. "In that case, you can just move in with me completely."

"What?" Apparently, things had no intention of slowing down just yet.

Tony started playing with a strand of her hair – a sign that he wasn't as casual about this as he sounded. "You need an apartment and furniture and clothes and I have all these things. Well, you can't really have my clothes, but then, if you move in with me, you won't need any."

He gave her his trademark smile, but before Ziva could say anything, he added, "I will even make some room for you to start a new knife collection if you want. Although… perhaps we should wait with that until your nightmares are less frequent and violent."

Ziva had originally intended to tell him that they were going to fast with this – that this would all end in disaster. But yet again Tony had managed to surprise her with his love and concern for her that hid behind all that juvenile nonsense. And it reminded Ziva of how much she had enjoyed those days and nights they had spent together lately and that she wanted that, too.

"But I will _not_ watch those stupid movies with you every night," she finally said.

Tony's grin broadened. "No need to worry, Zee-vah. I'm sure we'll find other things to do at night." And he gave her a demonstration by pulling her into his arms and kissing her until they both had run out of air.

But for once, that was good timing, too, since the others finally left the courtroom as well. Ducky was immersed in a conversation with the Director, Abby sucked happily on another Caf-Pow and Gibbs brought up the rear.

Ziva glanced at him and then whispered to Tony, "If I move in with you, however, we will definitely break Gibbs' rule nr. 12."

"Let me handle that," Tony replied, took her hand and pulled her towards Gibbs'. "Uh, Boss, we have something to tell you and it may appear as if we finally did break rule nr. 12, but we didn't because we went from being friends to living together, having incredibly great sex and arguing over the remote control. There was never actually any _dating_ involved so that shouldn't be a problem then, right?"

Gibbs looked from Ziva to Tony and back again. "You sure you love this guy?"

"It appears I do," Ziva replied, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Tony looked affronted. "What kind of an answer is that?"

"The kind of answer you get when you behave like an annoying juvenile delinquent," Ziva told him.

Tony's brows furrowed. "But I always behave like that!"

Ziva shook her head. "If that were true, we wouldn't even have this conversation right now."

"Uh, okay, whatever, as long as you still love me." He smiled at her.

Ziva opened her mouth to reply, but Gibbs beat her to it, "Do whatever the hell you want, but don't bother showing up at work if you act like that."

Tony was still grinning, but he tried to sound serious when he said, "Don't worry, Boss. We'll behave."

Gibbs shrugged and started walking down the corridor. "Alright, and Ziva, if you change your mind about staying with DiNozzo, my door is never locked."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Boss!" Tony yelled after him, but Gibbs just smiled and left. "Well, that wasn't so bad," he said when they were alone again. "And since the Director kind of knows, too, I'd say…"

"Tony," Ziva interrupted him. "Could you just shut up for a few seconds?"

He looked surprised and perhaps a little worried, but he nodded.

"I know we have talked about a lot of things, most of which I did not expect. But there is something left that I need to say to you." Ziva paused and looked into his eyes. "Thank you."

"There's nothing to thank me for," Tony replied, but then hesitated. "Uh, was I allowed to… speak again?"

Ziva smiled. "Yes, you were, but what you said is not true because I do not think that I would have made it through this trial without you, certainly not through the testimony today if I hadn't talked about it with you before and if you hadn't allowed me to find the way back to myself in your arms… last night and the nights before that as well."

"So you're feeling like yourself again?" Tony asked her, looking serious now.

"I am beginning to," Ziva nodded. "And I think that what still needs to heal will do so in the imminent future." As long as he was a part of that future, she added mutely.

Tony smiled and Ziva allowed herself to be pulled into the arms of the man who had made her whole again.

* * *

><p>AN: So, what do you think? Hope it wasn't too much (I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic so that can happen sometimes). Oh, and in case you wondered, you didn't miss Ducky's testimony. I only mentioned that now because it fitted in the closing argument.

Once again thanks to Candy77, Tiva4eva95, GrassyNight, Someoneslove, pbfn242751, Robern, Jedi Kay-Kenobi, Jennifer Catlin DiNozzo, love is only a dream, Lavender Angel-96, ChEmMiE, BrightlyShining, pirate-princess1 and ForeignMusicLyrics for reviewing! Your amazing comments always made me very happy ;)


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